All Louis C. K. Quotes
- When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end… Anybody
- The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that they have enough. You don't look in your neighbor's bowl… Bowl
- Everything that's difficult you should be able to laugh about. Able
- Life's too short to be an asshole, as an employer or as an employee. Asshole
- Gay men have to go through something to own their - who they are. They get beat up. They get ostracized. Whatever they go through,… Beat
- Oh, I love stand-up. Love
- I like being full, every day, with stuff that I have to do. Day
- Everything that people say is testable. People
- I could never sit down and write jokes. Down
- Suck a bag of dicks! Bag
- They charged me 15 dollars. That's how much it costs to only have 20 dollars. Charged
- How many advantages can one person have? I'm a white man! Advantages
- Last week I got a flu that I caught, 'cause my daughter coughedinto my mouth. Caught
- A man will cut your arm off and throw it in a river, but he'll leave you as a human being intact. He won't fuck… Arm
- The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself. Full
- I'm buying a Cinnabonat the airportI arrived at. You understand why that's extra disgusting, right? Because when you're at the airport you're leaving from, you… Airport
- When girls go wild, they show their tits to people. When women go wild, they kill men and drown their kids in a tub. Drown
- Look, it's some cunt coming out of that cunt's cunt. Coming
- My dick is too aware that your pussy is a chamber of financial ruin! Aware
- 'I'm bored' is a useless thing to say. You live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. And even the… Alive
- I really think it's crazy that we hit our kids. It really is. Here's the crazy part about it. inds are the only people in… Allowed
- You're all gonna die. Then you'll be dead for way longer than you're alive, like that's mostly what you're ever gonna be. You're just dead… Alive
- I thought for like five years that when you have sex, you come and one of your balls comes out. That's what I thought happened,… Babies
- Im bored is a useless thing to say. I mean, you live in a great, big, vast world that you've seen none percent of. Even… Alive