Why does the New Italian navy have glass bottom boats? To see the Old Italian Navy! — Henny Youngman Boat Copy Share Image
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife. — Henny Youngman Chauffeurs Copy Share Image
If, as the scientist say, sex is such a driving force, why is so much of it nowadays found parked? — Henny Youngman Driving Copy Share Image
She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate. — Henny Youngman Beauty Copy Share Image
A woman says to a man, "I haven't seen you around here." "Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my… — Henny Youngman Funny Copy Share Image
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? "I was ironing, and the phone rang!" "What about the other… — Henny Youngman Bandages Copy Share Image
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest. — Henny Youngman Chicago Copy Share Image
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old… — Henny Youngman Clothes Copy Share Image
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase. — Henny Youngman Book Copy Share Image
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's… — Henny Youngman Beer Copy Share Image
I was just in London - there is a 6 hour time difference. I'm still confused. When I go to dinner, I… — Henny Youngman Airline Copy Share Image
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the… — Henny Youngman Bars Copy Share Image
A little man is running a jewelry store. A man runs in saying, Okay, take my watch, put on a new band,… — Henny Youngman Band Copy Share Image
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball,… — Henny Youngman Ants Copy Share Image
2 Guys in a health club, one is putting on pantyhose. "Since when do you wear pantyhose?" "Since my wife found it… — Henny Youngman Clubs Copy Share Image
My brother-in-law had to give up his last job because of illness. His boss became sick of him. — Henny Youngman Boss Copy Share Image
My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement. — Henny Youngman Announcements Copy Share Image
