In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess. — Henny Youngman Education Copy Share Image
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. — Henny Youngman Home Copy Share Image
This man used to go to school with his dog. Then they were separated. His dog graduated! — Henny Youngman Dog Copy Share Image
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, "Stop The Music!!" — Henny Youngman Band Copy Share Image
A man goes to a barbershop and asks, How many ahead of me? Five. The man leaves. He comes back the next… — Henny Youngman Asks Copy Share Image
The doctor says to the patient, "Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window". "What will that do" asks… — Henny Youngman Asks Copy Share Image
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries. — Henny Youngman Burned Copy Share Image
I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected. — Henny Youngman Inspirational Copy Share Image
I came home, the car was in the dining room. "How did you get the car in here?" "Easy, I took a… — Henny Youngman Car Copy Share Image
I asked a Jewish man, "Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?" He said, "Yes", and walked away. — Henny Youngman Avenues Copy Share Image
In a blackout, a Polish man was stuck on an escalator for two hours. I asked him, "Why didn't you walk down?"… — Henny Youngman Blackouts Copy Share Image
Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I… — Henny Youngman Asking Copy Share Image
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?' — Henny Youngman Asks Copy Share Image
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive? — Henny Youngman Alive Copy Share Image
In high school football, the coach kept me on the bench all year. On the last game of the season, the crowd… — Henny Youngman Benches Copy Share Image
