“Edle Herren, seid so freundlich und verpisst Euch.” — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“there was a flash, a ding, and everything got dark and gooey.” — Christopher Moore Dark Copy Share Image
“By Aladdin's lamplit scrotum, man! Everything is a story. What is there but stories? Stories are the only truth.” — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
“They don't cover what to do with a dead hooker. That's a whole different program. Political science, I think.” — Christopher Moore Political science Copy Share Image
Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell — Christopher Moore Love Copy Share Image
“Evolution doesn’t really have a destination. It’s just dicking around with possibilities.” — Christopher Moore Biology Copy Share Image
Foul and magical fumes bubbled out of the kettle, like the flatulence of a dragon on a demon-only diet. — Christopher Moore Demon Copy Share Image
“pursuit of material gain is ultimately empty when measured against eternity;” — Christopher Moore Eternity Copy Share Image
Life is loneliness, broken only by the gods taunting us with friendship and the odd bonk — Christopher Moore Broken Copy Share Image
I don't read reviews if I know in advance they're negative, because I can't have my confidence undermined when I'm writing. — Christopher Moore Advance Copy Share Image
“Ydych chi'n cymryd cerdynnau credid?" said the highwayman, no doubt trying to frighten me further, his consonants chained like anal beads strung… — Christopher Moore Consonants Copy Share Image
Actually, orcas aren't quite as complex as scientists imagine. Most killer whales are just four tons of doofus dressed up like a… — Christopher Moore Car Copy Share Image
“So I'm all, "Owned! Bee-yatch! Dog fucking owned you!" Doing a minor booty dance of ownage, perhaps, in retrospect, a bit prematurely.… — Christopher Moore Dance Copy Share Image
“You're the one with almost an MBA," Barry, the short balding one, said to Lash. "You should know what to do." "They… — Christopher Moore Humor Copy Share Image
“No theory ever benefited by the application of data, Amy. Data kills theories. A theory has no better time than when it’s… — Christopher Moore Correlation Copy Share Image
“We were seekers. You are that which is sought, Joshua. You are the source. The end is divinity, in the beginning is… — Christopher Moore Inspirational Copy Share Image
“You see, my plan is working. For it is written that ‘if the wise man always appears stupid, his failures do not… — Christopher Moore Fool Copy Share Image
Wet towel under the door,' said Barry. 'It's what you do when you're smoking weed in a hotel and you don't want… — Christopher Moore Calling Copy Share Image
Regardless of its purpose, the humpback-whale song is the most complex piece of nonhuman composition on earth. Whether it's art, prayer, or… — Christopher Moore Amazing things Copy Share Image
“Tommy, I'm going to tell you something I've never told anyone before. If you repeat it, I'll deny I said it. Five… — Christopher Moore Bird Copy Share Image
“Fine, fuck it," Clay said, tossing the plate into the yard. The chicken parts bounced nicely, breading themselves with a light coating… — Christopher Moore Cell phone Copy Share Image
“Lash had been explaining to her that it's impolite to refer to an African American as a nigga, unless one was another… — Christopher Moore African american Copy Share Image
“No, inaction. Contemplation. Steadiness. Conservatism. A wall is the defense of a country that values inaction. But a wall imprisons the people… — Christopher Moore Inaction Copy Share Image
“I said,” said Lear, “most pernicious monstress, perfect in her perfidy!” Kent mimed a set of generous bosoms on himself and raised… — Christopher Moore Boobs Shrugged Copy Share Image
“The hip-hop guy nodded curtly, like he knew that, and despite appearances to the contrary, he had not been trippin', but had,… — Christopher Moore Chillin Like Copy Share Image
“Tommy had completely forgotten that he was horny. He had always been horny, and had accepted that he always would be horny.… — Christopher Moore Horny Copy Share Image
“A question asked in earnest deserves an earnest answer.” — Christopher Moore Question Asked Copy Share Image
Only by being prepared for your death can you ever truly live. — Christopher Moore Death Copy Share Image
