Christopher-moore Quotes

“So, like, the master needed a hand, if you know what I mean, so I was like, "Oh chill, it's a stress…

— Christopher Moore

“Soon a whole guild of low-priced shrine keepers around Europe named their own pope - Boldface the Relatively Shameless, Discount Pope of…

— Christopher Moore

“So, have you seen Flood?" she asked. "Cop?" She added "cop" with a high pop on the p, like it was a…

— Christopher Moore

“Not yet!" said she [Goneril], trying to roll me over and get back to smacking my bum. She honked my codpiece. You…

— Christopher Moore

“I was all, "Oh, dog, Countess gonna crack open a forty of whup-ass on you now. Oh, you in the sh*t now,…

— Christopher Moore

“Die Realität ist oft unkooperativ”

— Christopher Moore

“Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here," said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene. Cavuto waved to the…

— Christopher Moore

“A hundred brilliant witticisms died suffocating on the captain's heavy glove. Thus muted, I pumped my codpiece at the duke and tried…

— Christopher Moore

“[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it…

— Christopher Moore

Hope is bulletproof, truth just hard to hit

— Christopher Moore

“[Abby to Tommy and Jody who are hugging] So I'm like, "Cold-faced killers on the clock, bitches, we don't have time for…

— Christopher Moore

“My name," said Mr. Fresh. "Pardon?" Charlie stopped tying himself up. "I dress in mint green because of my first name. It's…

— Christopher Moore

“[...] Y'know, the Duchess Regan is living here at the tower now? I took your advice about not talking about her boffnacity…

— Christopher Moore

“[Conservation] Barring that, just yell at people randomly to stop killing whales. It could catch on. Really. ("Would you like fries with…

— Christopher Moore

“The scientific method is nothing more than a system of rules to keep us from lying to each other.”

— Ken Norris

“She glanced over her shoulder to look at the forty-foot cabin cruiser where Captain Tarwater posed on the bow looking like an…

— Christopher Moore

“I'll not have an exchange with an impudent fool." [Oswald] He's not impudent," said Jones [the puppet]. "With proper inspiration, the lad…

— Christopher Moore

“Careful crossing the street," Tommy called back to her as he crossed. [Jody is drunk] "Ha!" Jody said. "I am a finely…

— Christopher Moore

“Edle Herren, seid so freundlich und verpisst Euch.”

— Christopher Moore

“You first," Tommy said. They stood in the great room of their loft on either side of the futon, where the huge…

— Christopher Moore

“Love? Sodding, bloody, tossing, bloody, sodding, bloody love? Irrelevant, superfluous, bloody, ruddy, rotten, sodding love? What ho? Wherefore? What the f*ck? Love?”

— Christopher Moore

“The next day the weather was blown out, with whitecaps frosting the entire channel across to Lanai and the coconut palms whipping…

— Christopher Moore

“At the pet store he picked out two painted turtles, each about as big around as a mayonnaise-jar lid. He bought them…

— Christopher Moore

“Kayso, Foo finally came home and I jumped into his arms and sort of rode him to the ground with a massive…

— Christopher Moore

“She gave him the wide, green-eyed expression that she would have described as I will slap you so far into next week…

— Christopher Moore