“On the radio, turned low, Reba sang of hard times with the full authority of a cross-eyed redheaded millionaire.” — Christopher Moore Country Copy Share Image
You were supposed to empathize with your friend's problem, but they were, after all, your friend's problems... — Christopher Moore Empathize Copy Share Image
“I'm fucked. We're fucked. Together. Like Romeo and Juliet, only we get to be in a sequel.” — Christopher Moore Fucked Copy Share Image
You don't hurry a thinker, and you don't talk to him when he's thinking. It's just inconsiderate. — Christopher Moore Inconsiderate Copy Share Image
She was an alien, really - a sort of eating, pooping, tantrum machine - and he didn't understand anything about her species. — Christopher Moore Aliens Copy Share Image
“Splendid. I believe we've achieved a whole new level of doomed.” — Christopher Moore Doomed Copy Share Image
He invented Kung Fu when translated to English means method by which short, bald guys can kick the bejeezus out of you. — Christopher Moore Guy Copy Share Image
Sweetheart, wake up; you've destroyed the house and I need you to suffer for it. — Christopher Moore Destroyed Copy Share Image
“Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry, you can't have a baby brother, because that would mean that Daddy had sex, and that's never going… — Christopher Moore Brother Copy Share Image
“We've been rehearsing a classic from antiquity, Green Eggs and Hamlet , the story of a young prince of Denmark who goes… — Christopher Moore Breakfast Copy Share Image
San Francisco is a breathtakingly beautiful city, with lots of great contrasts between dark and light, often overlapping each other. It's a… — Christopher Moore Beautiful Copy Share Image
“Leathery bar girls worked the charter booths at the harbor, smoking Basic 100s and talking in voices that sounded like 151 rum… — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it… — Christopher Moore Books Copy Share Image
“So, have you seen Flood?" she asked. "Cop?" She added "cop" with a high pop on the p, like it was a… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“Abby Von Normal - And I'm like, "Don't change the subject, Kung Pao, what I want to know is if you're ready… — Christopher Moore Funny Copy Share Image
“The next day the weather was blown out, with whitecaps frosting the entire channel across to Lanai and the coconut palms whipping… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“Compassion is the same way,' Joshua said. 'That's what the yeti knew. He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without though or words. That's… — Christopher Moore Compassion Copy Share Image
Tommy had felt alone in a crowd before, even inferior to everyone in a crowd, but now he felt, well, different. It… — Christopher Moore Clothes Copy Share Image
If you have come to these pages for laughter, may you find it. If you are here to be offended, may your… — Christopher Moore Adventure Copy Share Image
Like looking down on a lubricious chess set, isn't it? The king moves in tiny steps, with no direction, like a drunkard… — Christopher Moore Archer Copy Share Image
“Success in America doesn't require any special talent or any kind of extra effort. You just have to be consistent and not… — Christopher Moore Extra effort Copy Share Image
“Careful crossing the street," Tommy called back to her as he crossed. [Jody is drunk] "Ha!" Jody said. "I am a finely… — Christopher Moore Christopher-moore Copy Share Image
“Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here," said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene. Cavuto waved to the… — Christopher Moore Bloodsucking-fiends Copy Share Image
“Nate had been born and raised in British Columbia, and Canadians hate, above all things, to offend. It was part of the… — Christopher Moore Born and raised Copy Share Image
“I tried cutting myself to express my heartbreak over Tommy (Lord Flood) rejecting me, but OMFG it hurts like flaming fuck.” — Christopher Moore Cried Copy Share Image
“If you are going to learn, you need to forget what you know. - Pokey” — Christopher Moore Education Copy Share Image
Ooo ahe-e, I aya oa a," she said in yawnspeak, a language - not unlike Hawaiian - known for its paucity of… — Christopher Moore Hawaiians Copy Share Image
“Abençoados sejam os submissos, pois a eles diremos "Lindos meninos".” — Christopher Moore Amor Copy Share Image
“Yeah, and don't think it's easy finding Ray-Bans in a fruit-bat medium.” — Christopher Moore Finding Copy Share Image
If you think anyone is sane you just don't know enough about them. — Christopher Moore Enough Copy Share Image
“Get in, get out, and nobody gets hurt, as Uncle Harlan always said, something he picked up in Vietnam.” — Christopher Moore Copy Share Image
“Give us a call or you know, flash a searchlight in the sky with your logo on it, because we monitor everything.” — Christopher Moore Monitor Copy Share Image
“She was meaning and order and light, and now that she's gone, chaos falls like a dark leaden cloud.” — Christopher Moore Chaos Copy Share Image
“…turning your ankle hurts like hell, even if you're a superhero.” — Christopher Moore Ankle Copy Share Image
“I'm painting moments. Unrepeatable, singular moments of light.” — Christopher Moore Artist Copy Share Image
You think you know how this story is going to end, but you don't. — Christopher Moore Ends Copy Share Image
It's Christmas! Ah, Christmas, the time when all good people go about not decapitating each other. — Christopher Moore Christmas Copy Share Image
It's wildly irritating to have invented something as revolutionary as sarcasm, only to have it abused by amateurs. — Christopher Moore Irritating Copy Share Image
I like a girl with a substantial bottom,' said Renoir, drawing in the air the size bottom he preferred. — Christopher Moore Air Copy Share Image
I fear you may become a lonely man, even in the company of others. — Christopher Moore Business Copy Share Image
![“[Author's Notes] As I write this, September 2002, much about the humpback song is still unknown. (Although scientists do know that it tends to be found in the New Age music section, as well as in tropical waters...)” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/cd0/christopher-moore-353_books_author-s-notes-as-i-write-this-september_1071886.jpg)
![“Careful crossing the street," Tommy called back to her as he crossed. [Jody is drunk] "Ha!" Jody said. "I am a finely tuned predator. I am a superbeing. I --" And at that point she bounced her forehead off a light pole with a dull twang and was suddenly lying on her back, looking at the…” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/29d/christopher-moore-353_christopher-moore_careful-crossing-the-street-tommy-called_2012882.jpg)
![“Inspector, there's no smoking allowed in here," said a uniformed officer who had been called to the scene. Cavuto waved to the drawers [at the morgue]. "Do you think they mind?" The officer shook his head. "No, sir." Cavuto blew a stream of smoke at Gilbert [a dead guy]. "And him, do you think he…” quote by Christopher Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/d29/christopher-moore-353_bloodsucking-fiends_inspector-there-s-no-smoking-allowed-in_757345.jpg)
