Accidents Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

“My girlfriend was just killed in a car accident. Devastating. I can't believe I'm only going to have sex with her one more time.”

Anthony Jeselnik

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Accidents Believe Car Car accident Girlfriend I can More time My girlfriend Sex

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I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…

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I want people to just be paying attention even if they're not necessarily laughing at something, or if it takes them a while to…

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I have a twelve year old sex doll. Brand new.

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Perhaps I'm being too optimistic, but I think this country is finally ready for a black serial killer.

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Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.

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About a year after I moved to Los Angeles, I decided I wanted to be a joke writer for a late night talk show.…

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When I was little, I would burn ants with a magnifying glass. But now that I'm older, I'm more of a cat guy.

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I'm fascinated by offensive subject matter. Always have been. It is very natural to me, as any teach I've ever had growing up could…

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I got into comedy because I wanted to get into writing.

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I actually never acted on "Deadwood." I have meetings all the time where people look at my IMDb page and see that I played…

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I was a weird kid because I liked to be alone, but I craved attention. It was important for me to be cool, but…

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I know her in the biblical senseand when I say that, I mean I don't believe a word she says.

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Almost all accidents take place because of human distraction.

Sebastian Thrun

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It was no accident, no coincidence, that the seasons came round and round year after year. It was the Lord speaking to us all…

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No, I think most astronauts recognize that the space shuttle program is very high-risk, and are prepared for accidents.

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In presenting a mathematical argument the great thing is to give the educated reader the chance to catch on at once to the momentary…

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The only way to have a funeral is to invite everyone who ever knew the person and just wait for the accident to happen-somebody…

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Good films are not made by accident, nor is good photography. You can have good things happen, on occasion, by accident that can be…

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By education I am an Englishman, by views an internationalist, by culture a Muslim and a Hindu only by accident of birth.

Jawaharlal Nehru

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I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I…

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Naturally I feel no shame in writing these things because of the time which separates the moment when they are written--when only I can…

Annie Ernaux

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In a city where you walk around, it's impossible to plan your day and your life as accidents will happen, you'll overhear things, bump…

Jason Schwartzman

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I don't think it's by accident that I was first attracted to translating two French women poets.

Marilyn Hacker

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Despite my mentors advice that I would never go to heaven fishing with a weighted nymph and a float, I took it up. (As…

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Accidents Quote by Anthony Jeselnik

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