I do not know why anyone would host an awards show. No matter how unbelievably well you do at it, the only… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We sold 'Seinfeld' all over the world but it was a very specific kind of show. In some countries it went down… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
All magic is 'Here’s a quarter, now it’s gone. You’re a jerk. Now it’s back. You’re an idiot. Show’s over.' — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The only way a show works is you find people who you think are qualified and talented and you give them a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There are very few people who really appreciate my shows. People come to the show and they pay and they enjoy it,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I will never understand why they cook on TV. I can't smell it. Can't eat it. Can't taste it. The end of… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
![“We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when the red light [camera] comes on.” quote by Jerry Seinfeld](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/7d3/jerry-seinfeld-880_cameras_we-re-all-trying-to-get-to-the-same-isla_42545.jpg)
