I have a problem with that silver medal. It's like, 'Congratulation s, you almost won. Of all the losers, you're the number… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We want to do a lot of stuff; we're not in great shape. We didn't get a good night's sleep. We're a… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a problem with the strip that runs along the bottom of the news programs. Don't these idiots who run the… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Why is commitment such a big problem for a man? I think that for some reason when a man is driving down… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I think the answer is we all need a little help, and the coffee's a little help with everything — social, energy,… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
To me, a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
To me a lawyer is basically the person that knows the rules of the country. We're all throwing the dice, playing the… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If people would only *Look to the Cookie* - all our problems would be solved — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you've got a bloodstain on your T-shirt, maybe dirty laundry isn't your biggest problem. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
The Olympics is my favourite sporting event. Although I have a problem with that silver medal. When you think about it, you… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We’re all trying to get to the same island, whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive in, it doesn’t matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I have a nice bookshelf in my office, but not my house. I'm crass, but not that crass. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
There's no downside to fame and people who whine about it make me sick. It's the greatest thing in the world. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
We're all trying to get to the same island — whether you swim, fly, surf, or skydive, it doesn't matter. What matters is when… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I was in the drug store the other day trying to get a cold medication...Not easy. There's an entire wall of products you need.… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
I went up to the camp and Paul had me eat my first oyster I had never had an oyster in my life. And… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
Then, finally, the third year, begging the parents, I got the Superman Halloween costume. Cardboard box, self-made top, mask included. Remember the rubber band… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
This is really a crazy idea, you know. It probably won't work, but that will be interesting, too. You have to motivate yourself with… — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
If you get something right, you really feel it, right in your chest, on stage. I think it's an incomparable experience. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
People have an infinite attention span if you are entertaining them. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
It's hard to do nothing because you tend to do something and then you have to drop everything. — Jerry Seinfeld Copy Share Image
