Do you know what writing a book is? It's sitting alone in a room for weeks without making contact with another human.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Across the nation, thousands of people are lining up in hospital waiting rooms, out the doors, down the steps, around the corners,… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The best-laid plans of mice and comedians usually wind up on the cutting-room floor. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
My life was typical. I played a little Little League baseball. I never wanted for food. I always had shoes. I had… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
