Everyone knows if a Republican comes out of the closet and sees a gay shadow, it means six more years of a… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Must be nice to be a Republican senator sometimes, because you get the fun of breaking sh*t and the joy of complaining… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Republicans are calling the Democrats' plan to have a deadline for US troop withdrawal from Iraq an 'admission of failure', as… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If it turns out that President Barack Obama can make a deal with the most intransigent, hard-line, unreasonable, totalitarian mullahs in the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If you are a minority or an interest group, the Democrats will hold the debate at your house. Whereas Republicans take a… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Republicans are no longer allowed to say that people are rich. You have to refer to them as 'job creator.' You can't… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It's not that the Democrats are playing checkers and the Republicans are playing chess. It's that the Republicans are playing chess and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I could never wrap my head around why the world and the President that Republicans describe bears so little resemblance to the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
It really does seem that the Democrat's problem isn't that they're calling for timetables - it's that they're calling them 'timetables'. You're… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Most Americans don't live their lives solely as Democrats or Republicans or conservatives or liberals. Most Americans live their lives that are… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The Republican party is the party of nostalgia. It seeks to return America to a simpler, more innocent and moral past that… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Even if the flag burning amendment does become law, the larger problem will remain of how to respectfully dispose of older, tattered… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
