For me, comedy should have a certain amount of joy in it. It should be about attacking the powerful - the politicians,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
My job is to find the politicians and the presidents and the pompous people who are telling other people how to live,… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I salute Rick Perry for the way he's trying to overcome this. Today he came out and said he's not one of… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Saudia Arabia takes in half a trillion dollars every year in oil revenue, and the country has a population smaller than New… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
The Afghan government is as corrupt as a prostitute with a law degree. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“I was ambitious and desperate to direct my first film, so I capitulated and blew it. Never again. Never fucking again.” — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sometimes people think you’re smart if you question the status quo, if nothing else. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Sober alkies are often asked: "When did you hit rock bottom?" but a more informed question might be: "How many times did you hit… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
Remember the band, Flock of Seagulls? They had their van stolen. I was like, They still have a van? — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People spend thousands of dollars trying to keep their teeth straight. I just hope we can live in a world where we accept gay… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
People are saying that Anderson Cooper could be the new Oprah. And then these people are struck by lightning. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
I think comedy comes more from a low sense of self-esteem, and I certainly have that. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
For my birthday that year Anne gave me an inflatable atlas globe, along with a birthday card in which she wrote: I give you… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
