Why do we shave? It doesn't seem like a natural activity. There are no examples of shaving in nature. The only creature… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Imagine what will happen to this nation if large numbers of American women start using the Wonderbra. It will be catastrophic. The… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
I realize that there are certain hardships that only females must endure, such as childbirth, waiting in lines for public-restroom stalls, and… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Men's magazines often feature pictures of naked women. Women's magazines also feature pictures of naked women. This is because the female body… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
