We're Jews. When you look at our pubic hair, it should look like Ewoks should be in there. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I want to look back on my career and be proud of the work, and be proud that I tried everything. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Some people look at a glass and see it as half-full. Others look at a glass and call it a dragon. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't trust any country that looks around a continent and says, "Hey, I'll take the frozen part." — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Here's the way I look at it. President Bush has uranium-tipped bunker busters and I have puns. I think he'll be OK. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You need to take a long, hard look in the mirror and not come away thinking, "Hey, there's something wrong with this… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The seven marvels that best represent man's achievements over the last 2,000 years will be determined by Internet vote... so look for… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Are you worried that, when you go to hell, you'll only be taking the local and not be on the express? Why… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
That whole thing has been overstated by environmentalists. First of all, what is it, rocks and snow? C'mon, what is that, you… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
There is going to come a day when everyone here is going to need keen observation and wit to ridicule George W.… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
America has had to deal with eccentric dictators in the past: Idi Amin, Muammar Qaddafi, Ming the Merciless... but now the security… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Analysis of President Bush's tax plan has revealed that several elaborate tricks and gimmicks were used to make it look like a… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
If I was to really get at the burr in my saddle, it's not politics - and this is, I think, probably… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney's inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty! — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'… — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
![“All I'm saying is [John McCain] cannot look a soldier in the eye and say "Questioning the president is less supportive to you than extending your tour three months." You should be coming home to your family.” quote by Jon Stewart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/452/jon-stewart-455_coming-home_all-i-m-saying-is-john-mccain-cannot-loo_1052310.jpg)
