I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Life is so tough. I don't know how old you are, but I've seen so much in a wink. One phone call… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love gay and lesbian parents. But I think we need a law that says lesbians and gay men have to raise… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My mother could make anybody feel guilty - she used to get letters of apology from people she didn't even know. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
You know it's time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I didn't want to do 'Fashion Police' because I thought, 'This is stupid, this is beneath me, who wants to talk about fashion?' It… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
All my way through college, I worked my way as a window dresser for Lord & Taylor, so I always liked fashion. I always… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
If you hate something, you hate it, and if you like something or somebody, you like it, but tell the truth. And most celebrities… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I know now that everybody in the arts is forever a beginner. Experience counts for a great deal and very little. Every night onstage… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
My breasts are so low now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I love Vines. You make this 6.4-second drama, and you can reach 6 million viewer, and make people laugh. I find it so fabulous. — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
![“I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!” quote by Joan Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/213/joan-rivers-669_causes_i-think-actual-death-will-be-a-lot-easie_2636079.jpg)
