Kids Quotes by Bill Burr

8 Kids quotes by Bill Burr

Burr’s trademark sarcasm meets youth in eight blunt lines. The set gives a quick taste of his humor‑laden perspective on the quirks and contradictions of growing up.

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London was like that too. It was that time of year when all the rich kids with the oil money have their…

Bill Burr

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You know why men make more money than women? Because, in the unlikely event that we're both on the Titanic and it…

Bill Burr

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I have friends in this business who put pictures of their kids on Facebook. That's not something I would do.

Bill Burr

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“Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king…

Bill Burr

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I think I know how to raise a kid. You just play catch with 'em. You just talk about life, and you…

Bill Burr

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You're a kid, your whole life is awesome. It's awesome, right? You had no money, no ID, no cell phone, no nothing,…

Bill Burr

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Before I even knew what stand up was, I tried to make people laugh at school because that was how I made…

Bill Burr

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If I get married I get a tax break, if I have a kid I get a tax break, if I get…

Bill Burr

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I love making movies, and being in any that I can be in. I'd like to be in those giant movies, as the fifth…

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I'm always looking at new ways to tell a joke so that it doesn't get stale while working on new jokes every night or…

Bill Burr

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I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously. I'm good flying up to four hours, but anything past that, I want to…

Bill Burr

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It was right after 9/11 and I decided to walk around the grounds of the Pentagon, because I had never been there. Out of…

Bill Burr

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Business runs hot and cold so the more you're in charge of your own destiny, the better off you are.

Bill Burr

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You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one…

Bill Burr

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I am so pro-swine flu...I want it. We need a plague. It's got to happen; don't be afraid. It's only going to kill the…

Bill Burr

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I wish they would teach it in schools: Give people the belief that they are going to do well. A lot of people are…

Bill Burr

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Look how long it took to build the Freedom Tower, and we wanted that. It took 15 years.

Bill Burr

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For aspiring comedians? Don't listen to me. Just go on stage and do what you think is funny.

Bill Burr

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It's a great time to be a comedian because you've got so much more control. You can say what you want to. I think…

Bill Burr

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People make a big deal about podcasts but it's basically an online radio show with the sound effects and sidekicks, but because you can…

Bill Burr

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Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?

Bill Burr

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You wanna know how you know you're informed as a protestor? They don't show your interview on TV.

Bill Burr

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I am so pro-swine flu it's ridiculous.

Bill Burr

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