I am so happy that I married a comedy writer. He's never not without a joke. No matter where we are. — Christa Miller Copy Share Image
Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Wanna hear a joke about my penis? Never mind, it's too long. — Patience Jr Kibabatoko Copy Share Image
In Hollywood, it's hard to be funny, because all the big jokes are in Washington. — Rich Little Copy Share Image
Tell me that I misunderstood a joke, but don't tell me that my choice of cravat is wrong. — David Niven Copy Share Image
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think I would be a good politician. I kid about it when I get a standing ovation. Sometimes I'll say,… — Liberace Copy Share Image
Arguing with a teenager is like wrestling in the mud with a pig...sooner or later you realise that they enjoy it! — Simi Ngr Copy Share Image
Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never… — Edgar Allan Poe Copy Share Image
I think my sense of humor is really dark and super twisted and stuff like that. It's like, "Is this a funny… — Kanye West Copy Share Image
If I do not do sensible things about investments I shall spend my old age in a workhouse, where nobody will understand… — Rebecca West Copy Share Image
Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion. — George Orwell Copy Share Image
If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have? Three… — Unkown Copy Share Image
Kissing at the top, holding at the middle fire at the bottom. Do you know what is it? What ? Don't think… — Pacifiersucker Copy Share Image
I particularly scorn my fondness for paradox. I despise pessimism, narcissism, solipsism, truculence, word-play, and pusillanimity, my chiefer inclinations; loathe self-loathers ergo… — John Barth Copy Share Image
When it comes to your life's work, you can't take yourself too seriously. Even Jesus had an occasional joke with the boys,… — Deacon Jones Copy Share Image
An old joke puts its thus, "when a man speaks to a god its prayer , when a god speaks to a… — Peter J. Carroll Copy Share Image
Hey! D'you guys hear Dr. Atkins died? Slipped on some ice, hit his head, died on life support. The man who invented… — Christopher Titus Copy Share Image
Michael Gambon telling filthy jokes and Alan Rickman talking about scrambled eggs, just really normal things, and yet they're these amazingly, superb,… — Matthew Lewis Copy Share Image
I'd like to think I'm a little more memorable or specific now. People laugh at me in a way they wouldn't laugh… — Christian Finnegan Copy Share Image
Oh definitely. It'll be in a hot tub, with my entire head squeezed into a jet. The photos are going to be… — Jason Sudeikis Copy Share Image
Yeah, a lot more than he likes you," said Oh. It didn't look like Milo appreciated the joke very much. "That's debatable,"… — Patrick Carman Copy Share Image
