When I was coaching with the Patriots, the players pulled a practical joke and I said, 'Do you think I'm Charlie the… — Bill Parcells Copy Share Image
I do have pleasure when I'm writing. I mean, I'm aware of pleasure. And sometimes I make myself laugh, with a joke… — Peter Schjeldahl Copy Share Image
There's always a moment in any stand-up show I do where people are booing. They kinda boo a premise. And then I… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Sometimes I can't think of a better way to end my day than coming home and just strumming my ukulele for a… — Jake Shimabukuro Copy Share Image
Listen up. You're in trouble. Word is the Capitol's furious about you showing them up in the arena. The one thing they… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
I learnt that fame is an illusion and everything about it is just a joke. I'm far more dangerous now, because I… — Joe Strummer Copy Share Image
I like the sound of my voice, doesn't mean it's any good but I like it. The joke is that "all good… — Henry Rollins Copy Share Image
When I watch a comedy that's just hitting you over the head with jokes constantly, some really hit, but if they miss,… — David Walton Copy Share Image
I knew I just loved comedy, and I think it was my parents who initially brought up the notion of me trying… — Seth Rogen Copy Share Image
People might be making too much of me maturing and growing; I’m still the same person. I still like to joke around… — Patrick Kane Copy Share Image
In all of Western civilization, there have been societies that celebrating the homosexuality, the ancient Greeks. But they, in fact, protected the… — Ken Blackwell Copy Share Image
The smallest decisions made had such profound repercussions. One ten-minute wait could save a life… Or end it… One wrong turn down… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
Horse-play, romping, frequent and loud fits of laughter, jokes, and indiscriminate familiarity, will sink both merit and knowledge into a degree of… — Lord Chesterfield Copy Share Image
Granted, not really a joke, but how often do you get a mic in your hand? You know? So. I am sorry… — Janeane Garofalo Copy Share Image
I make jokes about it, but it's the truth that I kind of patterned my look after the town tramp. I didn't… — Dolly Parton Copy Share Image
I have been asked many times, Why do you laugh so much and make so many jokes? I become serious sometimes-when I… — Swami Vivekananda Copy Share Image
An old racetrack joke reminds you that your program contains all the winners' names. I stare at my typewriter keys with the… — Mignon McLaughlin Copy Share Image
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say don't and if he touches your pussy say stop? Girl: But mom, he touched… — Unkown Copy Share Image
I do a lot of public speaking and presentations and I'll always start with a self-deprecating joke to make everybody feel comfortable… — Warwick Davis Copy Share Image
The most important thing in comedy - apart from empathy, which I think is important even if disguised - is surprise. I… — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I'm a taker in terms of jokes. I love to hear a good joke, but I don't retain jokes. I'm not a… — Steve Carell Copy Share Image
'Master Blaster,' by Stevie Wonder, is up-tempo and fun, like Stevie himself. Stevie's always making jokes; he really knows how to put… — Ziggy Marley Copy Share Image
He's managed to make himself something highly unusual for a man at this stage of his career: unclassifiable. Unpredictable. Tom Jones is… — Ken Tucker Copy Share Image
My goal is to get on the national team. People joke that we'll be able to go to Beijing in 2008, but… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It’s just what they are — they’re jokes…most jokes are about Jewish people, rednecks, black folks…I can’t determine what offends another person. — Paula Deen Copy Share Image
Around year seven or eight, you'd kill yourself when you realized Norm had to enter and you had to come up with… — Ted Danson Copy Share Image
But you do have to learn, if you want to be a satirist, you can't be part of the party. Meaning, you… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
In Germany, you would be hanged if you cracked a joke about Hitler and you would be killed by the state if… — Werner Herzog Copy Share Image
The whole experience of doing a sitcom is... Telling jokes with such precision is really exciting, but it's also terrifying. — Lea Thompson Copy Share Image
I'd buy joke books and try doing them at school; I always had jokes. That would be my go-to thing at parties:… — Drew Carey Copy Share Image
I was always Armie. There couldn't be a 90-year-old Armand and a 9-day-old one. And I heard enough jokes about baking soda. — Armie Hammer Copy Share Image
If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, 'Look, [Kanye West] called me… — Taylor Swift Copy Share Image
“Whenever He answers prayers, God usually prioritizes those by people who, instead of their mouths, have prayed with their hands and/or feet.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Jack Benny, Fred Allen. Their jokes were wonderful. It takes skill to be funny. The timing of Jack Benny was so fine.… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I'm excited for the new crop of gay comics who have never been closeted, who never thought that they needed to put… — Guy Branum Copy Share Image
They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in… — Ernest Hemingway Copy Share Image
I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time,… — Alexei Sayle Copy Share Image
I actually got a part in 'The Love Guru', that Mike Myers film. I heard it's awful. I got a Razzie award… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
They always prided themselves on looking youthful. “Forty’s the new thirty,” they’d joke. Until heartbreak and grief enter your life, and then… — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
![“If people ask me about it, I think it would be great for me to be like, 'Look, [Kanye West] called me and told me the line before it came out. Like, joke's on you guys, we're fine'.” quote by Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/336/taylor-swift-125_ask-me_if-people-ask-me-about-it-i-think-it-wou_230259.jpg)
