The Lord's angel, Gebrail, dictated the Koran to Mohammed the Lord's Prophet. What a joke if all that holy book were only… — Thomas Pynchon Copy Share Image
I went to my doctor and asked for something for persistent wind. He gave me a kite. You see the trouble is… — Les Dawson Copy Share Image
What's so funny?" Bella mumbled. "I got food in her hair," I told her, chortling again. "I'm not going to forget this,… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
At bottom, to be colored means that one has been caught in some utterly unbelievable cosmic joke, a joke so hideous and… — James A. Baldwin Copy Share Image
Families are like countries. They have their own language and jokes and secrets and assumptions about the right and wrong ways of… — Roland Merullo Copy Share Image
Is there any other democracy where the voters are as spoiled as they are in the United States? Especially, of course, in… — Michael Kinsley Copy Share Image
I would love to be able to play anywhere, but to me the sweet spot is clubs and theaters, just because I… — Michael Che Copy Share Image
You can't always be 100-percent positive that a joke will work, so you've just got to try it. Fortunately, if one new… — Doug Benson Copy Share Image
The real issues I don't think most people touch. The Clinton jokes are all about Monica Lewinsky and all that stuff and… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
Are they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because there’s an alarm going doesn’t mean it’s a fire.… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me, you all are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking,… — Paperjam Copy Share Image
I love telling stories, telling jokes, making people laugh. Ive got no plans to stop doing it. — David Alan Basche Copy Share Image
How about this John Kerry controversy? So he's out there in California, tells some kind of joke and it backfires. He's saying… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
When I was very young and first worked in Hollywood, the films had bred in me one sole ambition: to get away… — Anita Loos Copy Share Image
I have, like, two and a half years of failed jokes that I know I wouldn't repeat, but I certainly have no… — Taran Killam Copy Share Image
There is a kind of happiness and wonder that makes you serious. It is too good to waste on jokes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There is always the risk: something is good and good and good and good, and then all at once it gets awkward.… — John Green Copy Share Image
Every day, there'd be somebody interviewing me as a "lesbian living in Russia." It got to the point where I would joke… — Masha Gessen Copy Share Image
I've always been terrible on regular sitcoms with lots of jokes. I don't know how to tell jokes. — Rainn Wilson Copy Share Image
Dear math, grow up and solve your own stupid problems I'm sick and tired of doing it for you! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
More than his exterior hit me. I felt warm and safe just being with him. He brought comfort after my terrible day.… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
For Every0ne Here... Please Don't Lie So much...Untill Unless your Girlfriend is Rihanna N Boyfriend is Eminem, they're not gonna love the… — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
I always made people laugh, and everybody wanted me to sit at the table with them. I don't joke as much as… — Missy Elliot Copy Share Image
“The preacher released a pent-up breath as he sagged in relief. “Thank God he's gone.” His eyes narrowed at Alexander as he… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
Keep your shirt on," she said with a laugh at her bad joke. "Your clothes are at the laundry. They'll deliver them… — Sherrilyn Kenyon Copy Share Image
A few years ago we said, 'Hail Guru Ram Das and heal the world.' It looked like a joke at that time.… — Harbhajan Singh Yogi Copy Share Image
The best thing that can happen to a couple married for fifty years or more is that they both grow nearsighted together. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm not allowed to make a joke. It is a bit unfair how I'm treated. I thought it was a joke. I… — Andy Murray Copy Share Image
The majority of the filmmaking process is in pre-production. The more you've planned out the more freedom there is on set to… — Vin Diesel Copy Share Image
Sometimes it feels like God has reached down and touched me, blessed me a thousand times over, and sometimes it all feels… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
Now,I'm no scientist,but I know what endorphins are. They're tiny little magical elves that swim through your blood stream and tell funny… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
