The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we [with… — George Michael Copy Share Image
I walk with God, and He protects me. That may very well be true. I don't mean to make that sound like… — Dan Harmon Copy Share Image
My father taught me to work, but not to love it. I never did like to work, and I don't deny it.… — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
Sometimes it feels like God has reached down and touched me, blessed me a thousand times over, and sometimes it all feels… — Anne Lamott Copy Share Image
I joke that if she [Debbie Wasserman Schultz] could find a 3 a.m. slot in the Home Shopping Network, she would grab… — Jonathan Tasini Copy Share Image
One can always come up with funny lists and jokes. You know what? I take it back. Not everyone can always come… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
There's a glorious sense of freedom in comedy, just allowing myself to tell jokes, allowing myself to interrupt myself and tell old… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
Given a little time for the pain to subside, dreadful experiences often can be the basis of funny jokes or stories. — Steve Allen Copy Share Image
As I see it, mainstream comics now speak only to the hardcore few who stayed; conversing in a weird, garbled, visual pig… — Scott McCloud Copy Share Image
More than his exterior hit me. I felt warm and safe just being with him. He brought comfort after my terrible day.… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
There's a great line by Joss Whedon: "Make it dark, make it grim, make it tough, but then, for the love of… — Declan Shalvey Copy Share Image
Back in the day, if someone said that hip hop and rap was a fad, that was a joke to me because… — Jam Master Jay Copy Share Image
That's part of the comedy, too, is we do have jokes throughout of hanging a lantern on the absurdity of the world.… — Raphael Bob-Waksberg Copy Share Image
This is the most important joke I've ever heard. Niels Bohr, the founder of Quantum Physics, had a friend to dinner. As… — John Cleese Copy Share Image
There were very strict social conventions, and you adhered to it, and I think it gave you a lot of character. When… — Jack Kirby Copy Share Image
Mothers, take time to be a real friend to your children. Listen to your children, really listen. Talk with them, laugh and… — Ezra Taft Benson Copy Share Image
I got into stand-up because I love stand-up. Specifically in stand-up, I love jokes. I love short, structured ideas and a punch… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
People think I'll kill you if you make a joke. I compare it to Clint Eastwood. I've only seen Clint Eastwood in… — Ice T Copy Share Image
I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman...come in the guise of a comic...to heal perception by using...'jokes'... — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to… — W. S. Gilbert Copy Share Image
I think I realized that Dave Barry was funnier than I'll ever be, and he made no attempt to make any actual… — Joel Stein Copy Share Image
You should not take prayer too seriously. There is something playful about God. You only have to look at a penguin ...… — Thomas Keating Copy Share Image
I'm an actor. I've always been an actor. I've always approached all my comedy as an actor. I don't really care about… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
Maybe I was what Leah thought she was. Some kind of dead end that shouldn’t be passed on to another generation. Or… — Stephenie Meyer Copy Share Image
(Finland is a famously introverted nation. Finnish joke: How can you tell if a Finn likes you? He's staring at your shoes… — Susan Cain Copy Share Image
A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh,… — Alonzo Bodden Copy Share Image
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Jeff Foxworthy is a legend. Every time I see his moustache it reminds me to wax my lip and every time I… — Lisa Lampanelli Copy Share Image
If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the… — Dana Gould Copy Share Image
The real problem you get with humour is that you only have so many kinds of jokes within you, and you mine… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
It was not easy to get to where I am. My challenge is to learn to deal with the jokes that are… — Maria das Gracas Silva Foster Copy Share Image
I've come to feel very strongly, not as a joke, that if you appoint a committee of more than four people, their… — Charlton Heston Copy Share Image
“The preacher released a pent-up breath as he sagged in relief. “Thank God he's gone.” His eyes narrowed at Alexander as he… — Rose Wynters Copy Share Image
I'm a goof. I talk too much. I tell stories. I tell cheesy Dad jokes. I'm theatrical and I'll mix things up… — William Beckett Copy Share Image
Art once made a cult of beauty. Now we have a cult of ugliness instead. This has made art into an elaborate… — Roger Scruton Copy Share Image
You have to have a passionate opinion; otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard. — Stephen Colbert Copy Share Image
Obama supporters are like christmas lights. They all hang out together, half of em don't work, and the ones that do work… — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
... the majority of us scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than the faultiness of our own arguments,… — George Eliot Copy Share Image
It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he… — Jack Handey Copy Share Image
Or what? You'll release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
![“The thing that's weird is that we thought it was funny. We expected people to get the joke - that we [with Andrew Ridgeley] were two guys really making asses of ourselves.” quote by George Michael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/42d/george-michael-1332_andrew_the-thing-that-s-weird-is-that-we-though_2471073.jpg)
![“I joke that if she [Debbie Wasserman Schultz] could find a 3 a.m. slot in the Home Shopping Network, she would grab that. So those emails only confirm what we knew.” quote by Jonathan Tasini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/d69/jonathan-tasini-36491_email_i-joke-that-if-she-debbie-wasserman-schu_2851527.jpg)
![“... the majority of us scarcely see more distinctly the faultiness of our own conduct than the faultiness of our own arguments, orthe dulness [sic] of our own jokes.” quote by George Eliot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/9c1/george-eliot-84_argument_the-majority-of-us-scarcely-see-more-dis_1093098.jpg)
