The ultimate joke was the idea that capitalism would eat its own feces in order to make money, that would make fun… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“Yeah, I crack myself up a lot more than I crack anybody else up, but that is okay. At least I am… — Corey Taylor Copy Share Image
Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he… — Eddie Murphy Copy Share Image
Facebook should have some kind of limit on the number of times that people can change their relationship statuses. After five or… — Ryan Swain Copy Share Image
I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I… — Robert Goulet Copy Share Image
What I would do in order to be popular was, I'd put myself on line and joke around and be funny, and… — Leonardo DiCaprio Copy Share Image
At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing… — Mike Colter Copy Share Image
We are not evil. We don't harm or seduce people. We are not dangerous. We are ordinary people like you. We have… — Margot Adler Copy Share Image
Some People Don't Know When To Open Their Mouth And Talk. They Don't Know When To Start And Stop. They Don't Know… — Sabelo Lan Mashabela Copy Share Image
This specter of the female politician, who abandons her family to neglect for the sake of passing bills in parliament, is just… — Frances Power Cobbe Copy Share Image
It's fun when the writers start writing jokes to you, but also it's fun when the writers will come to you and… — David Alan Basche Copy Share Image
Audiences of critical thinkers are my favorite kinds of audiences. There are jokes I tell in the show that don't get laughs… — Adam Savage Copy Share Image
As the years went on, the audience has become very jaded. They've heard every joke, they've seen every story line, they know… — Betty White Copy Share Image
It's important to be yourself. What art does for everyone, helps you understand yourself and in a distilled way, whether it's a… — Val Kilmer Copy Share Image
“There were a great many jokes about the disaster (house falling on and killing Wicked Witch of the East), naturally. "You can't… — Gregory Maguire Copy Share Image
The opening scene in A New Hope, when you see the huge ship, it goes on, and on, and on, and on,… — Cass Sunstein Copy Share Image
I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance. — Michael Keaton Copy Share Image
You throw a perfectly straight line at the audience and then, right at the end, you curve it. Good jokes do that. — Abe Burrows Copy Share Image
I use the cigar for timing purposes. If I tell a joke, I smoke as long as they laugh and when they… — George Burns Copy Share Image
I love 'Last Call.' It took me a little bit to figure out that I wasn't going to be that guy in… — Carson Daly Copy Share Image
You can't wait forever for an audience to get the joke, but you should give them at least two seconds to join… — Franklyn Ajaye Copy Share Image
I don't go off and sit down and try to write material, because then it's contrived and forced. I just live my… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Someone has remarked that 'An ideal math talk should have one proof and one joke and they should not be the same'. — Ronald Graham Copy Share Image
I think, in comedy, timing is everything. You and I could tell the same joke, but if one of our timing is… — T.I Copy Share Image
Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they… — Rob Delaney Copy Share Image
When comedy is good, it's jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection,… — Billy Crystal Copy Share Image
I don't want to be with someone boring because I'm always laughing. I like to play jokes on people and be sarcastic. — Ashley Benson Copy Share Image
I'm not good at telling a joke, but I can say a line in a certain way that makes people uncomfortable because… — Walton Goggins Copy Share Image
What I didn't realize is that the writing process for comedies is that you do your table read, and if you aren't… — David Morse Copy Share Image
If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or… — Amy Carmichael Copy Share Image
I get just as much of a thrill out of constructing a good sentence that gets a laugh at the end as… — Julian Clary Copy Share Image
I'm not a great joke writer, which is odd for a comic to say, but I'm not. So it's hard for me… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
There is laughter, shrill calls. Everyone is flirting, saying in nudges and jokes and blushing what they would do in private — Jesmyn Ward Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My 6 year old niece just told me she loved me, then pointed at chocolates and asked me to buy one. ALL… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Catering on planes, like on British Rail, is a standing joke, but I don't really have a problem with it. I don't… — Phil Collins Copy Share Image
I was hurt so deep that I made up my mind never to hurt anybody else, no matter what. I never made… — Jimmy Durante Copy Share Image
Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It was so poorly made, ants were laughing… — Scott Roeben Copy Share Image
I suppose I'm going on stage and making jokes about the fact that the audience are expecting the show to be about… — Andrew Lawrence Copy Share Image
![“At the time, it was a really funny joke [Fluffy] and I went back and forth with going against the joke or embrace it. I decided to embrace it and now we're talking about it, so it was a good call.” quote by Gabriel Iglesias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/5f1/gabriel-iglesias-1974_back-and-forth_at-the-time-it-was-a-really-funny-joke-f_2164289.jpg)
