I’ve never taken time off from being an actor. This is the kind of career I’d be so happy to do until… — Ansel Elgort Copy Share Image
If a condescending joke is truly funny, make yourself the subject- you will increase the number of people laughing by at least… — Joe Harsel Copy Share Image
The youngest child in any family is always a jokemaker, because a joke is the only way he can enter into an… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
On Anzac Day, coffee and jokes with a Turk might be the most meaningful and fair dinkum dawn service you could possibly… — Michael Leunig Copy Share Image
Sometimes you just create a joke out of thin air in the editing room. I'm really glad I've had that experience. It… — Ed Helms Copy Share Image
I think jokes are a perfectly viable form of literature. Some critics take issue with me because I make my points and… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Guy: Wanna hear a joke about my d*ck? Nvm its too long. Girl: Wanna hear a joke about my p*ssy? Nvm you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm obsessed with coffee. My doctor says if I don't cut back, I am going to permanently damage my esophagus. No joke. — Matthew Gray Gubler Copy Share Image
If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in… — Val Kilmer Copy Share Image
I did it a little bit in college, but now I've been doing it more. But yeah, it's not, I think you… — Chris Baio Copy Share Image
You have to struggle a bit, hustle a little, and be willing to go bankrupt. Once you're willing to do that, everything… — Nick Nolte Copy Share Image
Woody Allen once said: "You know there must be intelligent life in space. The question is do they have good Chinese restaurants… — Gene Wolfe Copy Share Image
There are certain jokes that indicate how mainstream a comic is. If you're talking about how the side effects of drugs that… — Gary Gulman Copy Share Image
Since I was a kid, I could make up stories, I could make up funny jokes and I could always do it.… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Artemis: I am not buoyed by that. Foaly: You are not supposed to be buoyed by that. You are supposed to be… — Eoin Colfer Copy Share Image
We spoke to God about the children, and we were afraid to ask God for specific things. We thought that it might… — Bill Cosby Copy Share Image
The best joke-tellers are those who have the patience to wait for conversation to come around to the point where the jokes… — Joseph Epstein Copy Share Image
I often fake my death and then just show up at people's houses. They say 'that's a good one Thom' but I… — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
My joke, which isn't really a joke, is that there will be one of two tours: the tour for the album that… — Richard Marx Copy Share Image
We were almost getting used to playing without fans in the Champions League. Jokes aside though, I think help from our fans… — Roberto Mancini Copy Share Image
You see a lot of sketch variety shows where each segment is one joke that they repeat over and over and over… — Eric Andre Copy Share Image
I'm not the type that would ask for a number or ask him on a date, but I have approached a guy.… — Jhene Aiko Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I would eat healthy but remember that 1 time Adam & eve ate an apple in the garden of Eden & doomed… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think every joke has to be so dadgum cerebral. I mix it up really good, because that's the kind of… — Larry the Cable Guy Copy Share Image
I'd rather laugh in bed than do it. If I went to a lady of the night, I'd probably pay her to… — Billy Joel Copy Share Image
I'm not a comedian. I don't do stand-up. I don't tell jokes. I'm a comedic actor, and approach my work that way.… — Eugene Levy Copy Share Image
I love jokes that come out of nowhere. The ones where people look at the screen and go, 'What the Hell was… — Allen Covert Copy Share Image
People say, 'Oh, are you tired of the Jesus jokes yet?' I can't get tired of the Jesus jokes because this is… — Tom Payne Copy Share Image
I don't need somebody who will make me laugh. I'm looking for someone who will laugh at my jokes and make me… — Terry Mark Copy Share Image
I stumbled on a joke idea and style that worked, the audience went with it and, from that moment on, I was… — Marcus Brigstocke Copy Share Image
People are too lazy and too stupid to think for themselves that we've got sitcoms with canned laughter that lets you know… — Marilyn Manson Copy Share Image
I'm not built for war. I'm built for entertainment. I'm built for jokes - either telling them or being the butt of… — Josh Peck Copy Share Image
If you don't have your experiences in the moment, if you gloss them over with jokes or zoom past them, you end… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I want to go somewhere I've never been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I had to keep the text pretty spare compared to what I would typically do in a picture book. My picture books… — Laurie Keller Copy Share Image
The intention which is fixed on God as its only end will keep people steady in their purposes, and deliver them from… — Thomas a Kempis Copy Share Image
I have a lot of glass in my house, and I remember saying as a joke once that I clean my stuff… — Courteney Cox Copy Share Image
Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large… — Richard Overy Copy Share Image
With my boyfriend, we can make sexist jokes to each other because we know it's absolutely not true. If I get home… — Emily Browning Copy Share Image
![“Many of the political jokes that circulated in the Third Reich were directed at Goering. He collected them [all] in a large leather notebook and delighted in re-telling most of them to his friends.” quote by Richard Overy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/529/richard-overy-41096_delighted_many-of-the-political-jokes-that-circula_1772394.jpg)
