We have a new joke on the reservation: 'What is cultural deprivation?' Answer: 'Being an upper-middle class white kid living in a… — John Fire Lame Deer Copy Share Image
Every time I post & don't get any likes I remember what my mom used to say,i prepare this breakfast with such… — Akbar Cullen Copy Share Image
You got to pay your dues to get the joke. Besides, laughter is cheap and very portable. If there's a pogrom, or… — Lenny Bruce Copy Share Image
'St. Elmo's Fire' is one of my favorite films. I like the storytelling of those teenage American films. You don't get that… — James McAvoy Copy Share Image
Every joke is an experiment. When you sit, alone, and write a script, or just a joke, you really have no idea… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
I have an airplane hangar with 17 cars in it. That's no joke. I have a 'half pipe' in there, too -… — Paul Walker Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Essentially a joke is creating an idea, whether sonic or visual, whether it's something musical or a traditional joke. — Reggie Watts Copy Share Image
It's really surreal when I play shows, I'll have three or four people who are in the front row who are singing… — Zella Day Copy Share Image
I really wouldn't censor myself. But because it was on such a slower scale, I would throw things out, and I indulged… — John Hodgman Copy Share Image
The technology companies don't understand creative things at all. Silicon Valley's view of the creative process in Hollywood is a bunch of… — Steve Jobs Copy Share Image
The way I figured it, keeping quiet was safe. Words could betray you if you chose the wrong ones, or mean less… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Take any country that has laws against hate crimes, inspiring hatred and genocide and so on. The first thing they would do… — Noam Chomsky Copy Share Image
In France everything is a matter for jest. People make quips about the scaffold, about Napoleon's defeat on the banks of The… — Honore de Balzac Copy Share Image
A good joke provides tension, and then, release of that tension. You build the tension by saying things that are controversial. The… — Greg Giraldo Copy Share Image
You have to have that emotional investment in the jokes that you're saying otherwise they actually don't work. You can say exactly… — John Bishop Copy Share Image
“The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humorists are using Twitter to tell jokes in an interesting way. It doesn't have to be profound, and it doesn't have to… — James Gleick Copy Share Image
...My point is, I went crazy. When I saw what a black, awful joke the world was. I went crazy as a… — Alan Moore Copy Share Image
“End of the Summer It was end of the summer And my heart was broken but i was smiling, laughing, making jokes… — Arzum Uzun Copy Share Image
I love my babies so much that I could kiss them all day long..as a job. I could be a professional baby… — Jessica Capshaw Copy Share Image
You can be funny and say what you mean; these ideas are not mutually exclusive. Some of the best jokes came from… — Hari Kondabolu Copy Share Image
For Every0ne Here... Please Don't Lie So much...Untill Unless your Girlfriend is Rihanna N Boyfriend is Eminem, they're not gonna love the… — Raghav Singh Copy Share Image
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
First of all, Saddam did not win the war, even though he says he did, I mean, you know, that's a joke… — Norman Schwarzkopf Copy Share Image
What’s the deal with the hair?” Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. “Grows every flare. Can’t help it." We… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Being mature is when you finally grow enough, to be able to joke about the things that once broke you as a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Where did mutt become a insult...from mudblood in harry potter since all it means is mix breed so you should walk up… — MrAwesome Copy Share Image
I heard my name." Ash's voice startles me. "You tow better not be making fun of me about this stupid bra Mama's… — Abbi Glines Copy Share Image
A rumor that followed me forever was that my family was in the mafia. For years I had to live with it.… — Giuliana Rancic Copy Share Image
Twitter is a much more dangerous cauldron of group-think than happy hours or dinners. On Twitter, the reward comes from agreeing or… — David Weigel Copy Share Image
It's so easy to judge everybody and for some reason extra weight is the one thing everything feels OK to joke about. — Caroline Rhea Copy Share Image
Watching an adaptation of your novel can be a violent experience: seeing your old jokes suddenly thrust at you can be alarming.… — Martin Amis Copy Share Image
“Still,” he says, “if I shared my doubts with you, about God and love and life and death, that’s all you’d have:… — Daniel Wallace Copy Share Image
“Laugh and fear not, creatures. Now that you are no longer dumb and witless, you need not always be grave. For jokes… — C.S. Lewis Copy Share Image
I'm a joke comic. I tell jokes. I like writing a joke, and I like when a joke works, and I like… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Like water leaking through a dam," said Piper. "Yeah," smiled Percy. "We've got a dam hole." "What?" Piper asked. "Nothing," he said.… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
A lot of people are actually surprised when I do open up my mouth and smile a little bit, and crack a… — Tim Kang Copy Share Image
