Humor Quotes by John Barrymore

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.

— John Barrymore

In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.

— John Barrymore

My head is buried in the sands of tomorrow, while my tail feathers are singed by the hot sun of today.

— John Barrymore

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.

— John Barrymore

Mr. [John] Barrymore's smile was the smile of an actor who hates actors, and who knows that he is going to kill two or…

— John Barrymore

Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?

— John Barrymore

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves.

— John Barrymore

“happiness always sneaks in through a door you din't know you left open”

— john barrymore

He neither drank, smoked, nor rode a bicycle. Living frugally, saving his money, he died early, surrounded by greedy relatives. It was a great…

— John Barrymore

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner.

— John Barrymore

Method acting? There are quite a few methods. Mine involves a lot of talent, a glass, and some cracked ice.

— John Barrymore

Paper napkins never return from a laundry - nor love from a trip to the law courts

— John Barrymore