That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Parents, just keep in mind that kids will always round off to the nearest obscenity.. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Everyone should have kids. They are the greatest joy in the world. But they are also terrorists. You'll realize this as soon… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I wasn't really that informed about the two-year-old. Oh, I'd read about them, and occasionally I'd see documentaries on the Discovery Channel… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
For the sake of your marriage, get a king-size bed. And if you really want to stay married, get two. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
If a guy's ever telling you a four-hour sex story with a straight face, just feel sorry for him. Not for lying… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy.… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Anna would be just as happy with me if I were a plumber. As a matter of fact, when she married me, I was… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
My favorite band - and Bobby Cannavale and Terry Winter have already made fun of me for this - is Chicago. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
![“It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy. But it was Vegas and things got crazy, and it happened. We go to Vegas to try to sign Elvis Presley and things get crazy. My character [in Vinyl] is stoned.” quote by Ray Romano](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/img-quotes/575/ray-romano-3515_character_it-was-very-nerve-wracking-for-me-i-had_87791.jpg)
