You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you.… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
That's when you know you're a true married couple: when you have to apologize for what you did in her dream. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I put myself on tape and the cool thing was that Martin Scorsese had never heard of me. He had never seen… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Mick Jagger also a music connoisseur and knows everything about that era. So, you knew the music side was going to be… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
When you wake up one day and say, "You know what? I don't think I ever need to sleep or have sex… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
If you are someone, you know, with fame, whatever amount, it's good to be married to someone who's not impressed with that… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I'd rather be in Las Vegas 104 degrees than New York 90 degrees, you know why? Legalized prostitution. In any weather that… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
If I have sex, I know my quarterly estimated taxes must be due. And if it's oral sex, I know it's time… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I'm now unemployed. It's a weird feeling with no work, but at least there's still golf. Standup comedy is like my core,… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
The married man has all but eliminated that worry from his life, simply because his wife knows all about him: the good,… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I'm a 14 handicap. Anyone who golfs knows what that means. I shoot 90 to a hundred or, once in a while, 85. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I don't know if you want to see the Everybody Loves Raymond guy in a nude scene. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
If a guy's ever telling you a four-hour sex story with a straight face, just feel sorry for him. Not for lying… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Mike Royce and I have always had success writing what we know. What we know now is that we're middle-aged, neurotic and… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
You know, before I would think, my cab driver hates me. Now I think my limo driver hates me. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I do know its important to keep the romantic spark alive in your marriage. But with four kids, sometimes it's enough just to keep… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
The first time I played golf was in Flushing Meadows, Queens, when I was about 16 or 17. They had an 18-hole pitch-and-putt. My… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
It was very nerve-wracking for me. I had to be drunk and have a threesome. I'm not that guy. Bobby Cannavale is that guy.… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Anna would be just as happy with me if I were a plumber. As a matter of fact, when she married me, I was… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
People are going to see both of us and think it's an Abbott and Costello kind of thing. It's not an easy switch. It's… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
I've had people say to me, 'Look at the sky, the fields, the ocean, the beautiful sunset. Isn't that proof positive of God?' Following… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Sex after one child shows down. After twins... ooh... I'll tell you what it is for us. I'll share it with you. Every three… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
My favorite band - and Bobby Cannavale and Terry Winter have already made fun of me for this - is Chicago. — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
Each day it's like: 'How many more days am I going to feel young and vibrant? I feel young and vibrant now, but I… — Ray Romano Copy Share Image
