Funny Quotes by Nikhil Saluja · Page 37

Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown?

— Nikhil Saluja

WIFE, A great comfort during her husband's troubles -- those, that as a bachelor, he would never have had;

— Nikhil Saluja

If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're…

— Nikhil Saluja

A girl gives you a massage. The woman gives you a happy ending.

— Nikhil Saluja

MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is when a husband can determine when his wife comes to the end of one argument and begins the next;

— Nikhil Saluja

SOCIALISM: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

— Nikhil Saluja

PRENATAL: When your life was still somewhat your own.

— Nikhil Saluja

LOVE, The last and most serious of the childhood diseases;

— Nikhil Saluja

Actual warning printed on the bottom of a package of Tesco's Tiramisu dessert : Do not turn upside down.

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the WiFi password here? is the new Finally I decided to visit you

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, you're an actor??? Why don't you act like a waiter and get me another beer.

— Nikhil Saluja

It's only happy hour if a hot girl is sharing your drinks. Otherwise it's just drowning your misery.

— Nikhil Saluja

Frankness is uttered, but rudeness is heard.

— Nikhil Saluja

Woman who pounce on dead rooster, go down on limp cock.

— Nikhil Saluja

Pro-gas-ti-na-tion¦ Waiting to fill up your tank while hoping the gas prices will actually go down.

— Nikhil Saluja

You know you've drank too much when you actually ask your wife to drive you home.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just learned today that bacteria is not the back door of a cafeteria.

— Nikhil Saluja

FULL NAME: What you call your child when you're mad at him.

— Nikhil Saluja

I still think that working hard is lame.

— Nikhil Saluja

I've never killed an unfollower but I should definitely take a shot at it.

— Nikhil Saluja

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

— Nikhil Saluja

If a girl takes the time to straighten her hair and you don't fall in love with her you're an asshole.

— Nikhil Saluja

Mosquito: The only insect that makes you prefer flies.

— Nikhil Saluja

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

— Nikhil Saluja