May your boss not attend the synagogue you pretend to be going to during the Jewish holidays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Leap Day. According to 30 Rock, which is an authority on these matters: anything that happens today, didn't. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Google earth view gives you the amazing chance to see amazing places all over the world, from the comfort of your own… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanksgiving, you get food. Christmas, you get gifts. New Year's, you have drinks. Valentine's, you have sex. Birthday, you can do all… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Have you ever noticed that woman's I'll be ready in five minutes and man's I'll be home in five minutes are exactly… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm gonna cross 3/4 of the street, then turn around and go back for no fucking reason. -Squirrels — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You don't need you to remind me of my age,I have my bladderto do that for me! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear iPhone, I have typed hahaha like a million times, yet you continually give me hagaha, baha, gaga... I hate you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For all the girls that say ¦.. All guys are the same ¦¦ Who told you to try them ALL. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am starting to realize that secured transactions is law school's version of the Hunger Games. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear CatDog, Please tell me how you poop. I have wondered for so long. Sincerely, a confused fan. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Somebody busted in my car window. Thank god they didn't take my servitude outline. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My heart is like a cabbage divided into two. I gave the leaves to others and my heart to you — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My favorite thing about summer is having a valid excuse for my excessive sweating. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Canada Day, I'd love to go out for some traditional Canadian cuisine if there was such a thing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's try to put at least as much thought into voting for the next U.S. president as we do into voting for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't know if I should thank you or whoever made you such a nice person. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My boyfriend isn't allowed to watch E.T, why the fuck does he wanna watch his ex girlfriend find her way home. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It seems that fears are all based on these things: illusion and future thinking, with a side order of 'What if.' 'What… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Need an excuse to end a conversation? Try this: Fuck I have to go, my goldfish is drowning — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Mom, thanks for not answering the phone. I could be locked in some rapist's basementfor all you know. Thanks, nice to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's spend Memorial Day weekend celebrating the fact that Osama Bin Laden is still dead. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
