Food Quotes by Brian Regan

I could go for a sandwich, but I’m not gonna open two jars.

— Brian Regan

I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve!

— Brian Regan

I think the serving size of ice cream is when you hear the spoon hit the bottom of the container.

— Brian Regan

Some people look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why?' I look at creamed corn and ask, 'Why not?'

— Brian Regan

Mmmm! Lunch and no cleanup! Can life get better? I submit that it can NOT!

— Brian Regan

Mmmm! Lunch and no clean up!! Can life get better? I submit that it CANNOT!!

— Brian Regan

“You got to figure out how to eat your snack while your elbows are touching. You got to learn how to twist…

— Brian Regan

You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open two jars. I can't be opening and closing…

— Brian Regan

You know I could go for a sandwich, but uh, I'm not gonna open TWO jars! I can't be opening and closing…

— Brian Regan

I went to the juice isle, I learned something. Cranberries are taking over everything. What do you got, apples? Put some cranberrise…

— Brian Regan

“A serving size on ice cream is like a half a cup. Is that like a joke some guy put on there?…

— Brian Regan

“So my doctor told me to watch what I'm eating - to read food labels. I'm in the store reading the Fig…

— Brian Regan

I have a friend who swears by food combinations - have you heard of this nonsense? She's nuts. She's like, 'You know…

— Brian Regan

I eat like a kid. I like Chief Boyardee. Their Ravioli, but they have some stuff I've never seen in the real…

— Brian Regan

“I never learn. Like a waitress will bring my meal. “Hey, enjoy your meal.” “You, too. But you don’t have one, do…

— Brian Regan

“I learned something in the juice isle, and that is, I don't know what's going on with cranberries, but they're getting in…

— Brian Regan

I saw something in the store the other day that I don't understand: that peanut butter and jelly in the same jar.…

— Brian Regan

You can microwave a Pop Tart. That just blew me away that you could do that. How long does it take to…

— Brian Regan