Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Compromise: The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the largest piece. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are Laughing WITH you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Woman say:OH, NO, I'LL PAY FOR MYSELF. Woman means:I'm just being nice; there's no way I'm going Dutch. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You can tell a lot about a person by their car… For example, if it's in a ditch, it's a woman. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Drunk Twitter because embarrassing myself in one zip code was never enough. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Regarding jam sessions: jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitter makes me want to have drinks with people I've never met, and Facebook makes me want to throw drinks at people… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I just saw a fat girl crying while girls pointed & laughed at her. I thought ,She must be finding it hard… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The ones that learn by reading…… The few who learn by observation….. The rest of them have to pee on the electric… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why do they put alcohol on the arm of a death row inmate before they give him the needle? Are they afraid… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care of our house & everyone in it, & I learned we… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Not to brag but its women who always say 'SORRY' to me Like this women in bar last night said: SORRY Asshole,… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
