WIFE, A woman who can spot a blond hair on her husband's coat from ten feet away but can never see a… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I once arm wrestled the Incredible Hulk. The loser had to paint himself green. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One thing nice about being dead is that you immediately become eligible to appear on stamps and money. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. -- A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is made out of two toothbrushes but a single tube of toothpaste; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
They always say to treat people the way you want to be treated. So far, I've given 4 handjobs today. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When friends at work ask me to hang out I tell them I'm busy at home and friends at home that I'm… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of your time and money to help people who had nothing, and… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If a guy tells you he's not ready for a relationship, it's ok to give him time. Just not any of yours...he's… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WIFE, WISE, one who makes her husband feel as if he is head of the house when, in reality, he is only… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
DEMOCRACY You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to pay… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
You know why the US can't find Osama Bin Laden? They're using the wrong agency to look for him. Don't send the… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Here's my idea for another one of those reality-based TV shows: No Survivors! One by one, a psychopathic serial killer tracks down… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you say you're in a bad place, and everything is coming your way, then chances are you're a woman, and you're… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I look at my awesome twitter followers & think to myself, What the hell would I do without them :) — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I won't be tweeting this sunday. I have better things to do like bashing myself by following girls on streets. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't wanna discuss about it - People who want to discuss about it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Men and women shop differently. Men know what they want before they see it. Women don't know what they want until they see it. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I used to receive virtual smiles, sweet morning and night greetings. Now all I have is silence, and a blistered heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
