I've been to Washington many times over the years for stories, and it always seems remarkably the same. More the same than… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone's time and effort. What a waste… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
John Dorschner, one of our staff writers here at Tropic magazine at The Miami Herald, who is a good friend of mine… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The problem ... is that we have run out of dinosaurs to form oil with. Scientists working for the Department of Energy… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask whether your country has been inhaling paint-thinner fumes. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We operate under a jury system in this country, and as much as we complain about it, we have to admit that… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
England is a very popular foreign country to visit because the people there speak some English. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
In foreign countries such as Italy, the government puts strict-looking speed limit signs everywhere, but nobody ever sees them because light does… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Ford Falcon holds the proud title of Slowest Car Ever Built. In certain areas of the country you can go to… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The French are not rude. They just happen to hate you. But that is no reason to bypass this beautiful country, whose… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This is true; virtually all edible substances, and many automotive products, are now marketed as being low-fat or fat-free. Americans are obsessed with fat… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
This ball was so crowded that it took me - a trained professional journalist with vast experience in this area - forty five minutes… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The hardest thing about being a guy is that women don't accept that you really are just a simple, pathetic, labrador retriever-like creature. That… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a Web page to show up on your screen. Contrary… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The major parties could conduct live human sacrifices on their podiums during prime time, and I doubt that anybody would notice. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
If you look at any list of great modern writers such as Ernest Hemingway, William Faulkner, and F. Scott Fitzgerald, you'll notice two things… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is think up a certain number of words! Plus, you… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Despite the gulf, physical and cultural, between the United States and Japan, both societies are, in the end, made up of people, and people… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
Before going on a diet you should consult your doctor, or at least send him some money. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
