Comedian Quotes · Page 31

I love the buzz of doing live. I am a stand-up comedian and so I am not scared of live.

— Alan Carr

I've always been a sarcastic person and people I dated would say, 'Oh, you're hilarious,' but it never occurred to me to…

— Janelle James

I feel sorry for confetti. Its useful life lasts about two seconds. And it can never be used again.

— George Carlin

I'm a comedian who happens to be Muslim; my comedy stems on all forms of my identity.

— Riaad Moosa

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

— Jim Gaffigan

I set out to be a comedian, and then the spokesperson thing is kind of just something that came along with it.

— Josh Blue

Comedians are sometimes resentful of their writers. Probably because it's hard for giant egos to admit you need anyone but yourself to…

— Dick Cavett

Too much comedy today is vulgar, not clever. I say that as a comedian and as a consumer.

— Mort Sahl

For every stand-up comedian, Just for Laughs is our Super Bowl. Every comic in the world goes to Just for Laughs in…

— Jo Koy

There's a comedian, Paul Reiser, very funny. I remember reading his book when I first started comedy and I remember laughing like…

— Nate Bargatze

So I watched the Pink Panther last night, and so I'm trying desperately to be funny, and then it's just not working…

— Dave Matthews

As well as being a comedian, I am - whether I like it or not - representative of another group of people,…

— Chris McCausland

While painting I noticed a piece of madras cloth on the floor. As usual, my mind started working overtime and a pair…

— St. Lucia

I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry…

— Ellen DeGeneres

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny. We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were…

— David Zucker

Disasters are funny to me. As a comedian you learn from failure, so I'm always trying to put myself in a situation…

— Anthony Jeselnik

I can't be typecast as a comedian. Only an actor capable of doing three-dimensional roles can do comedy.

— Rajpal Yadav

All of my life doing interviews, comedy has been my favorite thing, comedians are my favorite people.

— Larry King

Because you make me laugh don't make you a comic. A comedian is a person who, that's how they make their living.

— Dick Gregory

“I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.”

— Kyle Kinane

There really is no Johnny Carson anymore. There is no one place a comedian can appear and explode.

— Tom Leykis

A comedian who starts talking to himself becomes his own audience. This is fatal.

— Fred Allen

I'm friends with a lot of comedians, but we don't talk about material. Most comedians I know don't watch a lot of…

— Bo Burnham

What keeps me going is that this I all there is. I am a comedian, and this is what I do. It's…

— Iliza Shlesinger

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy.

— Gabriel Iglesias

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one out. Now my car goes 500 miles…

— Anonymous

In a more intellectually rigorous age, I wouldn't be talked about as a satirist at all. I would just be a topical…

— Rory Bremner

Even if I wasn't an actress or a comedian, I would be spreading love and laughter [with] whatever I did.

— Kim Coles

If all you had to be was a comedian to be a good football player. Bob Hope would be great. But you…

— Cris Collinsworth

We live in a fun time with so many ways to express yourself, you would be crazy to be a comedian and…

— Sarah Silverman

Being a comedian is probably the only job apart from undertaking that isn't age restricted.

— Peter Kay

The greatest comedian I've ever seen is Jack Benny. He wasn't afraid of the silences.

— Bob Newhart

Karaoke isn't fair when you're a comedian. The whole idea is to get people laughing and enjoying themselves, and I'm a professional…

— Chris Rock

I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business,…

— Steve Martin

The tragic hero prefers death to prudence. The comedian prefers playing tricks to winning. Only the villain really plays to win.

— Mason Cooley

I love following my friend Tony Zaret on Instagram. He's a super funny comedian who makes these parodies of memes, and Instagram…

— Scott Rogowsky

Ultimately, an audience wants to laugh. That's who they like, the comedian who makes them laugh.

— Ted Alexandro

I wasn't expecting to really draw in respected comedians but it's going to happen along the way and I'm truly honored by…

— Brian Regan

I wasn't planning on being a comedian; I just liked to laugh. Somebody said I should do it and that's how I…

— Jamie Kennedy

Why should we tell kidnappers, murderers, and embezzlers their rights? If they don't know their rights, they shouldn't be in the business.

— Pat Paulsen