For years, Blockbuster Video has edited movies. Like The Bad Lieutenant, when he's masturbating while the girls in the car are doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Cars and cameras are the two things I let myself be materialistic about. I don't care about other stuff. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
The last jobs I had were fixing cars and covering football games for a local access tv station. As in driving the… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I don't have sex drive... I have sex 'just sit in the car and hope someone gets in'. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You could drive a rental car until you don't want it. Just get out of it while it's moving and just walk… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Dating is horrible, it's awful. I don't get it. It's like you're standing there: 'Hi. Do you want to have sex and… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I look around, pretty much 100% of the people driving are texting. And they're killing, everybody's murdering each other with their cars.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I was driving in Manhattan. There's traffic, nobody's moving... The guy behind me is honking just at me. He kept yelling at… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
Technically, I've learned that having good legs and wind is good for being on stage. You have to be in shape and have endurance. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I think I'm past any window where I'm suddenly going to become surprisingly ripped so that people go, 'Oh, my God, what happened to… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I can feel how an audience is reacting when I'm on a stage, but when you are on stage, your perception is distorted. That's… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“You need to develop the ability to just be yourself and not be doing something, that's what the phones are taking away. The ability… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I know what it's like to have a bunch of material that's working that you don't care about. You want to die. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I just love learning. I think learning is how you live. The verb of my life is learning. — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of simple vilification of right-wing people. It's really easy to say, 'Well, you're Christian, you're anti-this and that, and I… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“A woman saying yes to a date with a man is literally insane and ill-advised, and the whole species' existence counts on them doing… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
When your kid is being selfish or greedy and you want to help them not be that way, you have to find a way… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
You have to be really tenacious. You have to keep at it. There are many roads to get there. If you can get yourself… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
I'd love to have a shitty job. I couldn't hold any down. Standup was the only thing I could stick with. I'm an idiot… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
