Before you ask why someone hates you, ask yourself why you give a fuck what they think. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
In the good old days, girls used to cook like their mothers, NOW THEY DRINK LIKE THEIR FATHERS. — Nikhil Saluja Good old days Copy Share Image
Not to brag but I'm so good that I can make women scream before sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, TRADITIONAL, A man who expects his wife to help him with the dishes — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
STOREROOM: The distance required between the supermarket aisles so that children in shopping carts can't quite reach anything. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wonder if life is worth fighting for. Then I think of you and I'm ready for war. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A word which always means commitment -- but so does insanity; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, SUCCESSFUL, is achieved when silence between two people is comfortable; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Promises are meant to be broken~ So are your arms, legs and your FACE!! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If we put half the effort in coming up with a cure for cancer as we do with good tweets we would… — Nikhil Saluja Cancer Copy Share Image
I just met this guy accidently who unfollowed me a few days ago. Not sure why he's on the floor without a… — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
Do not cry for those who hurt you, this way you're making them successful, smile and be the winner. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Cellphones are like a dog's nipples. You don't have to shout into them! — Nikhil Saluja Cellphones Copy Share Image
If you follow a celebrity parody account on Twitter and you think it's the real person, you're a fucking moron. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Twitters really just about tweeting dope shit and making girls you never met dream about you. — Nikhil Saluja Dreams Copy Share Image
Last night, my wife asked if I could make a dinner for a change. I'm glad she has such a good sense… — Nikhil Saluja Change Copy Share Image
Anger is such a wasted emotion. Half of the people you are angry with don't know it and the other half don't… — Nikhil Saluja Anger Copy Share Image
What a beautiful day to walk around my city, staring at my phone. — Nikhil Saluja Beautiful day Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
No matter how bad your day is going, just remember that somewhere in the world someone just got a pubic hair in… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Yeah forgiving someone is easy but being able to trust them again is a totally different story. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People who quote-unquote themselves when talking with their fingers can go fuck themselves. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing I have learned in thirty years is that women want men to stop asking dumb questions like that. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
I wish my real life friends were more like my followers. Especially the part where they mention me and I ignore them. — Nikhil Saluja Followers Copy Share Image
If God Was A Woman… Men would come equipped with homing device for quick location by wife — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People wearing sunglasses in their avatar are serial killers and should be blocked. — Nikhil Saluja Killers Copy Share Image
Life would be so much easier if our arms disappeared during our sleep. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ladies love boners cause they're always straight and to the point. — Nikhil Saluja Boners Copy Share Image
Life is not easy and it will only become harder if all you do is complain. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Oh, hey! I didn't even recognize you! means I saw you and tried to avoid you, but here you are. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
HR Manager is a person who thinks that... a Donkey can deliver a Human Baby - if given 9 Months !!! — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee. Don't talk to me after I've had my coffee. Don't talk to me. — Nikhil Saluja Coffee Copy Share Image
A Woman Never Say: I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby sitter Tracy. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
AMNESIA: A condition that enables a woman who has gone through labour to have sex again. — Nikhil Saluja Alcohol Copy Share Image
A nonsense chat makes sense when you are talking with someone special, — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
After years of research, scientists have discovered what makes women happy. Nothing. — Nikhil Saluja Happiness Copy Share Image
Blood is thicker than water but maple syrup is thicker than blood so technically pancakes are more important than family. — Nikhil Saluja Blood is thicker than water Copy Share Image
