Did you hear about the new reversible jackets? I can't wait to see how they turn out. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The sweetest things in life aren't planned..they take you by surprise.! — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, Is just a three-ring circus: engagement, wedding, and suffer; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I got dimples on my balls sack and every time I get a blowjob bitches are all like awwww. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I like food and sleep. So if I give you my food or text you all night, you're special to me. — Nikhil Saluja Food Copy Share Image
You said you wont leave me alone but where are you now? I'm alone again and I haven't forgotten about you. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If Men Got Pregnant: They'd serve beer instead of coffee at antenatal classes — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If twitter was highschool my penis would be the spam in every hot chicks inbox. — Nikhil Saluja Twitter Copy Share Image
CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. — Nikhil Saluja Animals Copy Share Image
PARTNERSHIP, A legal fiction exactly like marriage, but without the major benefits — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
It's funny how everyday seems the same, yet when you look back a lot has changed. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't comeback, tell everyone she has herpes. — Nikhil Saluja Comeback Copy Share Image
No, go live your life. Don't worry about me. I'll be here waiting until you get back. - Twitter. — Nikhil Saluja Life Copy Share Image
Getting your girlfriend all angry just so you can kiss her and make her shut up. — Nikhil Saluja Angry Copy Share Image
I bet at least 10 idiots will tweet about how much they needed this weekend. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I'm supposed to respect my elders, but its getting harder and harder for me to find one now. — Nikhil Saluja Aging Copy Share Image
I surveyed 100 women and asked them what shampoo they used when showering, 98 of them said: How the hell did you… — Nikhil Saluja Funny facebook status Copy Share Image
If I were a complete jerk I guess I'd answer a question with a question too. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've learned that no matter how much I care,some people are just assholes. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
As a man, the biggest mistake you can make is to take yourself too seriously. — Nikhil Saluja Biggest mistake Copy Share Image
Lesbians have to be called by their politically correct names...Vagitarians. — Nikhil Saluja Lesbians Copy Share Image
WIFE, Someone who is too beautiful for words -- but not for arguments; — Nikhil Saluja Beautiful Copy Share Image
I'm the asshole who parks the shopping cart right next to your car in the parking lot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you aren't treating her right, don't be mad when someone else steps in and does your job. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Always masturbate, because there's homeless kids in Africa with no arms who can't. — Nikhil Saluja Homeless Copy Share Image
If your nose doesn't bleed after masturbating you fuckers are doing it wrong. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The doctor told me not to lift anything heavy for a few weeks... So now I have to sit down when I… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
You are honorable... when you find your honor is to honor others. — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
One day you are gonna retweet & star me like I retweet & star you, and just like you, I won't care. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I would like to open a restaurant, call it the Marilyn Monroe Café, and put hundreds of pictures of Jeff Goldblum on… — Nikhil Saluja Facebook Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, A ceremony favoured in England -- it's the only way to beat their cold winters and lack of central heating; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Put vodka in your water bottle and now you're the smartest parent at the school play! — Nikhil Saluja Parenting Copy Share Image
Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers. — Nikhil Saluja Atheists Copy Share Image
God gave women butt-holes for a reason, and that reason is for sex. Sorry ladies, they're Gods rules not mine. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Cross-eyed girls are hard to sneak around on, their always keeping a fucking eye on you. — Nikhil Saluja Girls Copy Share Image
KISSING, An action that only marriage can transform from a pleasure to a duty — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ants are the WORST. Unless I see one carrying something. Then they are GOD'S LITTLE MIRACLES!! — Nikhil Saluja Ants Copy Share Image
Sometimes I wish I followed certain people just so I could stop following them. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The magic button to get a woman to behave for at least 20 minutes is called a clitoris. — Nikhil Saluja Clitoris Copy Share Image
HUSBAND, A man who has one mistake in his existence -- and keeps learning from it all his life; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
