“I make love in my bathtub, because there’s only room for one person.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be locked in a safe, because nobody will try to steal it there. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If we make it out of this alive, I’ll kill you. So you have that to look forward to.” — Jarod Kintz Alive Copy Share Image
“I’m tired of talking. I want you to extract my thoughts through my nostrils.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Bricks could be used to build stronger relationships. But so could bribes.” — Jarod Kintz Bribes Copy Share Image
“When the lights are about to burn out and start flickering, it’s like I’m blinking without blinking.” — Jarod Kintz Blinking Copy Share Image
“Don’t do something today you’ll regret for the next 10,000 tomorrows. No, you should have done that yesterday.” — Jarod Kintz Regret Copy Share Image
“I managed to beat Michael Phelps’ 400 meter IM time. And not only did I beat his time, but I did it… — Jarod Kintz Olympics Copy Share Image
“I’m too horny tonight to be productive. Right now the only thing I could make is love. And then I wouldn’t be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don't miss work and never be late. Your boss will appreciate it, and he will reward you by shaking your hand in… — Jarod Kintz Boss Copy Share Image
“Most people buy the highest quality television sets, only to watch the lowest quality television shows. ” — Jarod Kintz Television Copy Share Image
“The phrase “In the blink of an eye” is misleading, because one eye closing and opening is not a blink—it’s a wink.” — Jarod Kintz Blink of an eye Copy Share Image
“Is there a word halfway between hello and goodbye? Because that’s the word my soul is trying to say.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My eyes were blurry from being in love, and my feelings were as furry as Bigfoot. I thought I spotted Her, the… — Jarod Kintz Bigfoot Copy Share Image
“It’s one thing to say you love snakes, but it’s another to actually live the lifestyle. How many people, myself excluded, spend… — Jarod Kintz Early morning Copy Share Image
“If I could build my own neighbors, I’d have no need to build a fence. I would tell you, “I would tell… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not: I jumped in, and it was cold. No. It was cold, and I jumped in. Always arrange a sentence so… — Jarod Kintz Courage Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a cuddle partner. Just glue some fur on it and voila! It’s as good as snuggling… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“After my first coaching experience, the field looked more like Gettysburg than a normal defeat. But it wasn’t that bad, as only… — Jarod Kintz Failure Copy Share Image
“She had a forehead like a dance floor. You should have seen the way the sun danced on her face in the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Know yourself better than your opponent knows you, know your opponent better than he knows himself, know yourself better than you know… — Jarod Kintz Enemy Copy Share Image
