“Is it worth the effort to tell an idiot that they are profoundly stupid? Or is it just good fun to see… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“The man said, "The toy cars are a dollar a piece". The boy thought about that a moment and asked, "How much… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“I tried to walk a mile in a man's shoes once. I ended up running most of the way!! Seems he wanted… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“You should always wear rubber gloves, if you're jump starting a car, while taking a shower.” — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“If I have multiple personalities will I taste better to a zombie, or is the effort simply wasted? I've talked it over… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“New from Ronco, the Zomb-Matic adjustable dead. Choose how much of uncle Willy comes back to eat you!!! People like it when… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“How many of you knew what the Thomas A Swift Electric Rifle was? An idea in the book years ago, and now… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“You ever drive up to the pharmacy window and they ask you, "Can I have your phone number?" Sure all I get… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“I always wonder how many potholes there are in the road less taken. I mean it's great to go where others don't,… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“They say that time is relative. I think the way it's treating me it's a distant one, maybe a bad uncle, and… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“I like to provide American humor for British soccer coaches when possible. During keeper practice I'll offer to stand behind the goal… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“This is another one that perplexes me. "Would you like your milk in a bag?" "No, I think it's fine inside that… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“They used to say, "A penny for your thoughts". I have heard that zombies will pay up to $5 a pound for… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“So you like to stretch the truth?" he asked me. "Stretch, fold, spindle, staple or cut, whatever it takes to get it… — Neil Leckman Copy Share Image
“They kept yelling at me to pay attention during school, since education hasn't panned out for me can I get a refund, or at… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“When I was little and my mom got mad at me she would always say, "You know you can be replaced". I have often… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“If I have multiple personalities will I taste better to a zombie, or is the effort simply wasted? I've talked it over with myself,… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“If I have a pocket fun of rainbows am I an optimist, or a guy with wet pants and really large pockets?” — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“Yesterday I fell completely off the face of the earth Contemplating life, light and love in the darkness of the void Strangely it was… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“Cheech and Chong Vs. HAL "I can't do that Dave." "Dave's not here, man" "That does not compute. Dave" "No man, Dave isn't here!!"… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“They say you don't know what you don't know until you know that you don't know it.” — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“I flunked out of mime school. I could never hear what the instructor was saying!!!” — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“Has anybody ever written a horror pop-up book? The center of the book pops up and opens the gate to the elder gods. Of… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“Has anyone else noticed that most dreams happen while you're asleep? Makes it a lot harder to remember the details...” — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“Remember children, once I am gone I will be part of it all Everything will be me and together be free The songs of… — Neil Leckman Copy Share
“Some people like to push my buttons!!! I just wish they would give them back...” — Neil Leckman Copy Share
