“A lamb was a young animal which was legendary for sleeping well on the planet Earth.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
The bounties of space, of infinite outwardness, were three: empty heroics, low comedy, and pointless death. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
When I write, I feel like an armless, legless man with a crayon in his mouth. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Only one English word adequately describes his transformation of the islands from worthless to priceless: magical.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“They called themselves "The Febs," which was an acronym for "Four-eyed Bastards.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
The best jokes are dangerous, and dangerous because they are in some way truthful. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be, to protect yourself. Finally, you get just too tired, and… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Laughs are exactly as honorable as tears. Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion, to the futility of thinking… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“I can think of another quickie education for a child, which, in its way, is almost as salutary: Meeting a human being… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“What is the secret of life?’ I asked. ‘I forget,’ said Sandra. ‘Protein,’ the bartender declared. ‘They found something out about protein.‘… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“I can still remember what I was like when I was sixteen. It was hell to be that excited. Then as now,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“If those birds hadn't been so stupid, so incapable of learning that human beings were dangerous, the first settlers would almost certainly… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Find a subject you care about and which you in your heart feel others should care about. It is this genuine caring,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The Blue Fairy Godmother knew something about killing. He gave Lazzaro a careful smile. "There is still time for me to kill… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The troops and their ladies had first drunk champagne. There were also remains of sandwiches, and I stepped on one, which I… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The books he and his supporters wanted out of the schools, one of mine among them, were not pornographic, although he would… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Bertrand Russell declared that, in case he met God, he would say to Him, "Sir, you did not give us enough information."… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Love is where you find it. I think it is foolish to go around looking for it, and I think it can… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The fortifications have never been attacked, nor has any sane man ever proposed any reason why they should be attacked. They have… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“This country," said Eliot, "had tremendous research projects devoted to fighting odors. They were supported by individual contributions given to mothers who… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Well finish your story anyway." Where was I?" The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses." Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Many years ago I was so innocent I still considered it possible that we could become the humane and reasonable America so… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“A lot of the nonsense was the innocent result of playfulness on the part of the founding fathers of the nation of… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Once I understood what was making America such a dangerous, unhappy nation of people who had nothing to do with real life,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“The girl with the greyhound was an assistant lighting director for a musical comedy about American history, and she kept her poor… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“And yet another moral occurs to me now: Make love when you can. It's good for you.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“Me and Mike, ve vork in mine. Holy shit, ve have good time. Vunce a veek ve get our pay. Holy shit,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
Laughter or crying is what a human being does when there's nothing else he can do. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“They say the first thing to go when you're old is your legs or your eyesight. It isn't true. The first thing… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“You say very funny things. I am sorry I can't say funny things back. This is not a funny time for me.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share Image
“You must bloom as a writer and I must bloom as a painter. Everything else about us is uninteresting.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“Have a good nap, did you?” said the porter. “Yes,” said Billy. “Man,” said the porter, “you sure had a hard-on.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“I told him that if we doubted that we are demons in Hell, he should read The Mysterious Stranger, which Mark Twain wrote in… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“Thomas Jefferson High School [..] His high school was named after a slave owner who was also one of the world’s greatest theoreticians on… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“I had a certain amount of skill as a dramatist, and Dr. Goebbels wanted me to use it” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
I was some of the mud that got to sit up and look around. Lucky me, lucky mud. — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“The town was Newport, Rhode Island, U.S.A., Earth, Solar System, Milky Way.” — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“Her face was one of a kind, a surprising variation that made observers think, Yes--that would be another very nice way for people to… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“You finally fell in love, I see,” said Salo. “Only an Earthling year ago,” said Constant. “It took us that long to realize that… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“Like all Earthlings at the point of death, Mary Young sent faint reminders of herself to those who had known her. She released a… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“And contrast Mary Kathleen, if you will, with my wife Ruth, the Ophelia of the death camps, who believed that even the most intelligent… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
Someday, someday, this crazy world will have to end, And our God will take things back that He to us did lend. And if,… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
“There are plenty of good reasons for fighting," I said, "but no good reason ever to hate without reservation, to imagine that God Almighty… — Kurt Vonnegut Copy Share
