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Humor Quotes by Jim Butcher

59 Humor quotes by Jim Butcher

All Humor quotes Jim Butcher’s page

Butcher describes a frantic escape from a swarm of fae piranha, choosing a larger chance by moving on. He jokes about consulting four giant pizzas for direction and notes that laughter helps survive absurd danger. He also admits that saving the world often means saving his own behind first.

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“Hell's bells, irony blows.”

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Men plan. Fate Laughs. Guis Alera, First Lord

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“Mouse isn't big. He's compactly challenged.”

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“Bite me, faerie fruitcake.”

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“Men plan. Fate Laughs.”

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“Two million bucks would buy you a lot of ramen.”

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“Hell's holy stars and freaking stones shit bells.”

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Marcone's scum, but he's his own scum" -Harry Dresden

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“Never touch my brother on his fucking birthday.”

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“Home is where, when you go there and tell people to get out, they have to leave.”

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“I'm a disciple of the Tao of Peter Parker, obviously,”

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Ack!" I said. Fearless master of the witty dialogue, that's me.

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“Ha-ha! Ah-hahahaha! I am wizard; hear me roar!”

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“Aer-O-Smith. Arrowsmith. Does the shirt belong to your weapon dealer?” “No.” “Then why do you wear the shirt of someone else’s weapon…

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“You backbiting, poisonous, treacherous, deceitful, wicked, clever girl. If this works I'll buy you a pony.”

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“He fell into step beside me and we both got into the Blue Beetle — he got in the red door. I…

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“With a sense of humor like that, you could make a living as a garbage man anywhere in the country.”

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“. . . every jungle creature for fifty or sixty yards started raising holy hell on the what-the-fuck-was-that party line.”

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“- Did you really save the world ?... - Mostly I was saving my own ass. Just happend that the world was…

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“I have nightmares about hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.”

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“Tell me something important about her. People make fun of her?" "Some did," she said. "I never liked it, but..." "Crap." I…

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“I didn’t have any money or ID. I didn’t have a credit card. Hell, I didn’t have a business card. What would…

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“The man once wrote: Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Tolkien had…

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“Hell's bells, Susan, you don't know what you've done. You've got to get out of here." She snorted. "Like hell." "I mean…

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“Id me didn't have to be concerned with long-term consequences. He was my instinctive, primitive self, driven by my most primal impulses.…

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“I was doing the new Summer Lady a favor, running down a rogue storm sylph. Got to go all over the place…

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“Murphy,” I hissed. “Are you absolutely sure about this hair? That it belongs to Kravos?” If it didn’t, the doll wouldn’t do…

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“I'm trying to be diplomatic. The wisdom of my ass is well-known. If I didn't lip off to them, after shooting my…

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“Technically,' I said, "I'm not breaking any of the Laws of Magic. I'm not robbing you of your will, so I'm clear…

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“You can have everything in the world, but if you don't have love, none of it means crap," he said promptly. "Love…

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“I was sitting in my lab, my hand spread open on the table, while the skull examined my palm. I'd worn a…

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“Bob,” I said, louder. “Are you saying it… it ate my magic?” Bob got a defensive look on his face. “Not all…

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“They don't make morgues with windows. In fact, if the geography allows for it, they hardly ever make morgues above the ground.…

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“Da. This is going very well already." Thomas barked out a laugh. "There are seven of us against the Red King and…

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“Sometimes the most remarkable things seem commonplace. I mean when you think about it jet travel is pretty freaking remarkable. You get…

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“Beside me, Molly rolled her shoulders in a few jerky motions and pushed at her hair in fitful little gestures. She tugged…

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“I realized then what had happened. She had turned us--all of us, except for Mouse--into great, gaunt, long-legged hounds. Wonderful!" Lea said,…

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“Hell’s bells. I don’t call him the Fist of God as a pet name, folks.”

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There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity.

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“The world might be vicious and treacherous and deadly, but it couldn’t kill laughter. Laughter, like love, has power to survive the…

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More by Jim Butcher

“I stared at MacFinn for a long moment. I believed that he was telling me the truth. That he didn’t have much control, if…

“So you really could die. Your godmother is right, you know. You are mad as a hatter. Nutty as a fruitcake.” “Crazy like a…

“I knew I didn't have much of a chance of getting away from that swarm of fae piranha, but it was an infinitely larger…

“I told you," Molly said, never looking toward me. "It's in the past. Leave it there." "You listening to my head, kiddo?" Her mouth…

Punctuality is for people with nothing better to do

“Look,” I said. “Me and the island are . . . kind of partners.” “Oh, right,” Thomas said. He looked at Karrin and said, “Harry’s a geosexual.”

“I swear , this stupid town. Why does every hideous supernatural thing that happens happen here ? I'm gone for a few months and…

Well. We’ll just have to hope that this wasn’t a loup-garou, I guess.” “If it was a louper, you’d know,” Bob said wisely. “In…

“I'm going to use them to track him down and thwart him." "Thwart?" Sarissa asked. "Thwart." I said. "To prevent someone from accomplishing something…

“But you can't go around changing your definition of right and wrong (or smart and stupid) just because doing the wrong thing happens to…

“Not everyone can be equally right, Harry.” “But believe you me, everyone can be equally wrong,” I said.”

You are a drug dealer. To tiny faeries. Shame." Sanya to Dresden

“He fell into step beside me and we both got into the Blue Beetle — he got in the red door. I got in…

Something like this will test you like nothing else," Mac said. "You're going to find out who you are, Harry. You're going to find…

“Mort looked at the cat and sighed. “Oh, sure. Professional ectomancer with a national reputation as a medium tells you what’s going on, and…