Ignoring fame was my rebellion, in a funny way. I was insistent on being normal and doing normal things. It probably wasn't… — Emma Watson Copy Share Image
Today is 'Take our Daughters to Work Day.' This is when girls ages Nine to Fifteen go to work. Or, as it's… — Bill Maher Copy Share Image
“He sent Eliza a small smile before turning to Lawrence. "What say you and I return to the hotel for a bit?… — Jen Turano Copy Share Image
Then there was the time in Hollywood when I sat down in a breakaway chair and it collapsed on me. I was… — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
My teacher told me to shoot for the stars, you can be anything. I told him if I do that I would… — Livefree2dream44 Copy Share Image
“Listen, Harr,y can I have a go on it? Can I?" "I don't think anyone should ride that broom just yet!" said… — J.K. Rowling Copy Share Image
People who know my music are like 'Yo, that's Steve G-Lover rapping this 'Paper Boi' song. It's hot. I need this song.'… — Stephen Glover Copy Share Image
Give a compliment to a fat chick today, she'll literally remember you until the day she dies... Because elephants never forget. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Ever since it started snowing my husband is standing in front of the window and watching. If the snow gets much worse,… — Asheya Copy Share Image
“She seemed to feed on their laughter, and they on her humor, like the lily of the pond—sustained by the very water… — Molly Collier Copy Share Image
“Scheide,'Noah said. I decided to give the drink another shot. 'What does that mean?' I asked, then sipped. 'Vagina' I almost choked,… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
I like storms. I like thunder and lightning. What I do during a storm is shag my girlfriend and pretend that we're… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
I'm not sure when exactly I knew I was funny, but I always knew I was different. I never had an 'edit'… — Judy Gold Copy Share Image
When you are 15, everything is such high stakes, even tiny things. I think because of that, it is funny but sad… — Sophie Wu Copy Share Image
If a man….who’s playing in front of the public, is being well paid, and he doesn’t dedicate himself to the job, I’d… — Bill Shankly Copy Share Image
Actors are a great subject for a comedy. They're inherently funny because, like sportsmen, they take themselves so seriously. — Matt Berry Copy Share Image
Many regard freemasonry as an 18th-century boys' club, all funny aprons and comedic handshakes. That's good for the masons themselves, but it's… — Dawn Foster Copy Share Image
'Bridesmaids,' I think, opened up a door to allow women to show a bunch of different women in different ways of being… — Kay Cannon Copy Share Image
You're really playing against yourself. You have to learn what you can control and what you can't, and not let what you… — Mike Richter Copy Share Image
Journalists said they had never seen so many funny women as leads when we did 'Hotwives' - we had a cast of… — Danielle Schneider Copy Share Image
What's special with 'Corrie' is that they have the comedy element, women are funny as well - they might do the emotional… — Michelle Keegan Copy Share Image
People would be in hysterics if they saw that. It's like, wow, he's a superhuman moron… So he wears lipstick, has a… — Robert Pattinson Copy Share Image
We didn't have rehab back in the Seventies. Back in the Seventies, rehab meant you stopped doing coke, but you kept smoking… — Denis Leary Copy Share Image
I don't really find things funny unless they're deeply tragic at the same time. I think if you're funny just for the… — Lee Hall Copy Share Image
Whats the difference between a bomb and a condom..?! n a bomb blast population decreases but in a condom blast population increases.. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Don't write us off. Nobody thought we'd win the World Series in 2005, but we did. There are years when we think… — Jerry Reinsdorf Copy Share Image
If we have to have a choice between being dead and pitied, and being alive with a bad image, we'd rather be… — Golda Meir Copy Share Image
Wrestling has a funny way of regenerating itself, and I'm sure, in the past, a lot of people have asked questions about… — Finn Balor Copy Share Image
I feel like people only want to hear me say funny things. Like, I don't tweet about my kids or being a… — Kaitlin Olson Copy Share Image
“My body is tired as worn out rug, but my brain (if i had) is always full of curiosity, jumping around for… — Hiroko Sakai Copy Share Image
Jesse Tyler Ferguson is probably one of the funniest people I've ever met in my life. Everything the kid does is funny.… — Jesse L. Martin Copy Share Image
“The shrine I prayed at not to go to university,” Sand said. “I guess your prayer was answered,” Perrotte said. Sand strongly… — Merrie Haskell Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're checking yourself out in the window of another car and realize there's someone inside. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is commonly believed that anyone who tabulates numbers is a statistician. This is like believing that anyone who owns a scalpel… — Robert Hooke Copy Share Image
Even in fiction, I feel rigorous honesty applies. It doesn't apply to facts; it applies to what I think of as not… — Siri Hustvedt Copy Share Image
I have the will to do and dare...but my body doesn't agree. Ah well, at least no one can say that I… — Vatsal Agrawal Copy Share Image
What is the best thing to do when you have a hole in a boat and water is leaking inside? Make another… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
“I want to rip the rest of those buttons open and climb him like a monkey in a banana tree. Oh God,… — Heather M. Orgeron Copy Share Image
LADIES: You should never beg for a guys commitment to you . If he wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Mom," say Malia Obame, "why dont you go get the photo albem of dad when he was a small boy, maybe it… — Seinfeld 2000 Copy Share Image
