Funny Quotes · Page 388

Few secret undertakings ever did any nation any good.

— Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr

I was very keen on playing a victim.

— Clive Owen

There can be no mercy without truth.

— Adrian Rogers

Police, open up! No, youre gonna yell at me .__.

— Anonymous

Is there no beginning to your good taste?

— Anonymous

One God, one market, one truth, one consumer

— Zack de la Rocha

The meaning is in the waiting,

— R. S. Thomas

“...Neferet fell smack on her butt.”

— P.C. Cast

We have to create; it is the only thing louder than destruction.

— Andrea Gibson

When I was a kid, to be called Naughty was a bad thing... Now that I'm grown, its a compliment! =)

— The Great DJ Wreck

Nothing is sadder than a guy who complains on Facebook about how shitty his sex life is.

— Nikhil Saluja

“I'm at a Hollywood premiere and I haven't fainted. I'd say I'm doing pretty good.”

— Veronica Blade

The longer you commute the less happy you're likely to be.

— Geoff Mulgan

Congratulations on choosing a profile picture that doesn't qualify as softcore porn.

— Anonymous

Guys. It wasn't me who posted that status. Please stop asking me. But whoever it was, please don't.

— Anonymous

We have to slow the rhythm of rush in our lives so that the best of who are can emerge.

— Lysa TerKeurst

“She'll need to see another goddamn place, then, because the roaches have unionized and put a stop to further negotiations regarding new…

— Jessica Park

One time I stayed at a haunted motel. When I checked into my room, there was a sheet on the floor, and…

— Mitch Hedberg

I'm particularly bad at breaking if something's funny. I'm not professional, so I do often laugh, but less at what I do…

— Timothy Simons

I like to tell kids that I started thinking about stories when I first started reading stuff like Dr. Seuss and 'Go,…

— Jon Scieszka

My dad was a complicated man. He was a huge racist, my dad, but he still tried to be a good father,…

— Anthony Jeselnik

Oftentimes, whenever I do interviews with guitar magazines and we discuss my influences, I mention people like Steve Morse, Alex Lifeson, Al…

— John Petrucci

I think universities are trying to figure out how we could use what we know about learning to change our education system,…

— Alison Gopnik

I go "I just want a cup of black coffee." She goes "Do you want to try a biscotti? They're from Italy…

— Bill Engvall

It is what the Taoists say: The way to do is to be.

— Drunvalo Melchizedek

Practice random acts of . . . Grumpiness.

— Grumpy Cat

Seeing a perfect relationship saying 'Man, if only

— Anonymous

The law often permits what honor prohibits.

— Bernard-Joseph Saurin

You'll never, eever, be the same, again!

— Chris Jericho

We are sparks that must glow as brightly as possible.

— Asger Jorn

La memoria no guarda películas, guarda fotografías.

— Milan Kundera

Take what you do seriously, but yourself lightly

— Ken Blanchard

So I'm Singing Mean and better then revenge?(: Ok(:

— Anonymous

I’ve kissed death a thousand times before

— SZA

Iraq will spread them even more and chop them up.

— Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf

Prayer is the laying aside of thoughts.

— Evagrius Ponticus

Clever is the eunuch version of funny.

— George Meyer

I don't think I'm like Shakespeare.

— Joss Whedon

He did each single thing as if he did nothing else.

— Charles Dickens

There is nothing good in love but the physical part.

— Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon