Funny Quotes · Page 283

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

— Erma Bombeck

Roz Lo Mauj Lo... Nahi Mile to Khoj Lo... :P

— Aijaz Ahmed

Buff Bagwell ain't nothin' but a chippendale dancer!

— Scott Steiner

Sincerity is the way of heaven.

— Confucius

An insulting telegram is a barbed wire.

— Nikhil Saluja

I love tackling, love it. Its better than sex.

— Paul Ince

Those whom we support hold us up in life.

— Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

He [Courtois] goes back to Chelsea.

— Marc Wilmots

If you can't eliminate injustice, at least tell everyone about it.

— Shirin Ebadi

When I was a kid, I had two friends, and they were imaginary and they would only play with each other.

— Rita Rudner

Finally 21, and legally able to do everything I've been doing since 15.

— Anonymous

You can build a throne with bayonets, but it's difficult to sit on it.

— Boris Yeltsin

I had just received my degree in Calcium Anthropology... the study of milkmen.

— Steven Wright

Why did the chicken cross the road? TO GET TO THE OTHERE SIDE

— Alice Jane

I am interested in solving an unknown factor of art and an unknown factor of life.

— Eva Hesse

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw cookie dough.

— Anonymous

There's something about [cyclically] doing something over and over and over that seems to be particularly demotivating.

— Dan Ariely

“She said, “Look me right in the eye, and tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll go.” He stared at her.…

— John C. Wright

Middle age is Janus-faced. As we look back on our accomplishments and our failures to achieve the things we wanted, we look…

— Stanley H Cath

Ok, soooo I really have an overactive imagination, lol! Here is just an excerpt of sorts haha you tell me what you…

— Treasure/Heroine/Actress/Princess

Economists state their GNP growth projections to the nearest tenth of a percentage point to prove they have a sense of humor.

— Edgar Fiedler

That Moment When You're Having a Bad Day So You Lock yourself In Your Room And StartSinging And You Realize Your Singing…

— Anonymous

“Some vampires wouldn't react if you shoved a rosary down their pants, though I wouldn't recommend testing the theory.”

— Molly Harper

“I sure wasn't going to ask Aunt Sally, because if she told me once that getting your period was like a moth…

— Phyllis Reynolds Naylor

Hope for forces which you do not yet have.

— Rahel Varnhagen

One accumulates or one gets accumulated.

— Robert Heilbroner

Slowly, slowly, catch the monkey.

— Sylvia Plath

Much more than memoir; it's history.

— Russell Banks

That's Right! I Own the WCW!

— Vince McMahon

Age ain't got nothing to do with how old you are.

— Dick Clark

The enemy is not the other, the enemy is you

— Jiddu Krishnamurti

The business of business is people.

— Herb Kelleher

I won't cry for you, my mascara's too expensive

— Adriana Lima

Love, come and get it, it's free.

— George Harrison

I don't wear ties to work. And I don't shave.

— Mark T Bertolini

There is nothing Clever about not being Happy

— Arnaud Desjardins

Blushes cannot be counterfeited.

— Margaret of Valois

There is nothing sweeter than to be sympathized with.

— George Santayana

Larry Moffett is 6' 3". Last year he was 6" 6".

— Jerry Coleman

“It's not how you look, it's how you feel in the dark”

— Paula Wall