I met the girl of my dreams last night, then Something Inside My Pants woke up — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Lets play post office¦ Lick You, stick you, and send you on your way... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Pay attention, I'm only going to show you this once! ~ suicide bomber teacher. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Nostalgia is a dirty liar that insists things were better than they seemed — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My personal trainer told me to listen to my body while working out so I left the gym & went to get… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Looking for soulmate. Description: Smart, funny, good-looking & loves to battle with lightsaber swords while making sound effects. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Facebook Timeline is an excellent graphical and visual representation to show how you wasted all your precious time in the past... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
LADIES: You should never beg for a guys commitment to you . If he wants you, he'll do whatever it takes to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My hands never pain when typing message for you.. But my heart always pain when there is no reply from you. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everything is made in China... Except babies... They're made in the VaChina... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Passion is a strong emotional desire of love and hate to humans or objects — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The first woman who decided that tights are pants should get the Nobel Peace Prize. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If all else fails, get in bed at 8:00pm and watch a bunch of shit on tv. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Trust is something that you have in a condom when the partner is not your spouse — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Set Your Goals High Enough To Inspire You And Low Enough To Encourage You — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Don't solve all your problems today. Be sure to avoid or ignore them later! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When someone let you go first and said, ladies first, say bitches follow — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A real man ends a relationship before he starts searching for another one. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Nah, we're cool! Just make sure you remind me how awesome I am 3 times a day. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Some, given the scepter of responsibility, confuse it with the club of authority. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The only possible way I would find you attractive is if you swallowed a magnet. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
