I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A baby just posted a picture of its mothers breast and labeled it as food porn. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Three Things I've Learned: Never trust a skinny chef, A fat personal trainer or Man in a wheelchair wearing dirty shoes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I hate how chocolates immediately melts on my fingers.. I mean... Damn, am I that hot? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
