No matter how nice you try to be someone will cast you to play the cunt in their life story. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dear ugly people, if you ever feel that you hate your life, don't worry, you are not alone. I hate your life… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There are two greatest days in a guys life… The day he was BORN… and the day he discovered PORN... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When life stresses you out, eat a carrot. It won't make your life any better, but at least you're helping out the… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end the faster it goes. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Why do we spend so much money on clothes when the best moments of our life are spent without them? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Before smartphones life was terrible. I practically never stepped in dog shit. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Dear circle, Do you ever wake up in the morning and realize your life is pointless? Sincerely, square. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
People don't come into your life by accident. Everyone that crosses your path serves a purpose — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When you walk through life with a dirty mind, the simplest things seem funny — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Life is like sex, you can either lie back and let it screw you OR you can get on top and ride… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have enough money to Live comfortably for the rest of my life…...If I die next Tuesday. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I got kicked out of the zoo for feeding the ducks ... to the alligators...All I wanted was to complete the circle… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
With all the bullshit in my life lately, I'm surprised I can't fertilize a nice flower garden in my back yard! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I wish we could ctrl...alt...delete parts of life we don't particularly like. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
To understand a woman, you have to listen to her when she is looking at you, not when she is talking... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When your exes see youu happy,moving on with someone else... THAT'S when they want to wiggle their way back into your life. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
His imaginary girlfriend has left him. Due to lack of imagination, he cant imagine a life without her... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Arranged Marriages: All your life you are expected not to talk to strangers and all of sudden you are expected to sleep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
