My wife is angry with me and she is giving me the Silent Treatment. I don't know what I did, but I… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
According to the laws of probability, I have seen my neighbor's wife in panties. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife and I had words the other night. . . . . . . . . . Well, I had words; She had paragraphs. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My Wife & me are either going to buy a dog or have a child. Actually we can't decide whether to ruin… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I typed married but it was auto-corrected to martyred. Damn,smartphone has gained intelligence. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Why did the butcher divorce his wife? He caught her eating his competitor's meat! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Why do so many new brides get crow's feet as soon as they're married? From squinting and saying, Suck what? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
A woman in labor was screaming profanities at her husband. He calmly said, Dont blame me. I wanted to stick it in… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife & boss have the gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Stop, look, listen Great advice not only for crossing the road, but also when you're mid-wink and suspect your wife is home. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife is a Bisexual. I have to Buy her things, for her to become Sexual… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
What a mess! I can't believe I mixed up my Valentine cards. Now my girlfriend thinks I love her AND my wife… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This girl just got mad cause I said she had awesome boobs, how the hell was I supposed to know the dude… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Research has revealed that you can actually fall in love with your own wife if some other man describes her to you... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife told me she wanted something with lots of diamonds, I bought her a deck of cards — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Marriages may be made in heaven, but the maintainance charges have to be paid on earth... — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Love is an awesome feeling that makes you feel so good that you'll cheat on your wife. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The secret of our marriage is chemistry. She's on Valium and I'm on Prozac — Green Monk Copy Share Image
An archeologist is the best husband any woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
My wife's mad at me again. She wanted to make a sex video last night and all I did was suggest we… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
They should really replace, I now pronounce you man and wife with FINISH HIM!! (mortal combat music blasting) — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Who says women cant think consistently? . . . . My wife thinks that she's just 20 for the past 15 years — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Its a funny thing that when a man hasnt anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I have one of those open and shut marriages. My pants are always open and my wife's are always shut. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Trust is something that you have in a condom when the partner is not your spouse — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Arranged Marriages: All your life you are expected not to talk to strangers and all of sudden you are expected to sleep… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
With great power comes great responsibility, . . . . But after Marriage greater responsibility comes without any power.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Once a gay boy married a lesbian girl .. and then.. . . . . . . . nothing happened.. what was supposed to happen anyway?? — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Women fake headaches to get out of having sex with their man, and men fake not being married to have sex with a woman. — Green Monk Copy Share
I've been told by so many women that I'm a great listener. A majority of them, have big boobs. — Green Monk Copy Share
Scientists have found that women share the same dna as prawns.. Their heads are full of shit but their pink bits taste amazing! — Green Monk Copy Share
When someone is mad and asks you Do I look stupid? Don't answer them just stare curiously at them — Green Monk Copy Share
You may love a girl very deeply... But u CANNOT express it more deeper than... 5, 6 or 7 inches... — Green Monk Copy Share
Note To Females: You cant blame the entire male genre just because you were attracted to some assholes. — Green Monk Copy Share
That awkward moment when you can't understand what someone has said even though they have repeated it four times — Green Monk Copy Share
Life should come with a remote. There are so many moments I'd give up my life for to pause, fast-forward, and rewind. — Green Monk Copy Share
I wish Twitter would notify me when someone UN-followed me, that way I could go star it. — Green Monk Copy Share
I like those Birthday reminders on Facebook because occasionally they remind me of the friends I need to Delete. — Green Monk Copy Share
