Your call is very important to us. Please enjoy this 50 minute clarinet solo. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the relationship everyone thought was the worst decision of your life has ended. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was little, I am gonna tell your mom was the scariest sentence. :S — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like bank accounts,without a lot of money they don't generate a lot of interest. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't ever be depending on a rabbit's foot for good luck, when it obviously didn't work for the rabbit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm just calling to make sure you still didn't want me to ever call you again. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you think someone is ignoring you when in reality you just didn't press send. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Its funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. Its like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today's heat has me more hot and bothered than a lonely housewife reading Fifty Shades of Grey at a Magic Mike screening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I hear tapping outside my window. I don't think it's my prince to come kiss me. I think its a serial… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I need more people to play Draw Something with, so add Jazzimini if you would like to play with me(: Lol, I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Selena:Who says you're not perfect? Miley:Nobodys Perfect! Pink: Youre F**king Perfect... Im confused, Am I perfect or not? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You always give your best and inspire others to do likewise. That you are appreciated should come as no surprise. Your kind… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When Thomas Paine showed Benjamin Franklin the manuscript of The Age of Reason, Franklin advised him not to publish it, saying, ''The… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can figure out how bad a person you are by how soon after September 11th you masturbated, like how long you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's celebrate an Italian man who spread even more STDs than the cast of Jersey Shore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Low battery* *low battery**low battery* Well, apparently, you have enough battery to remind me every 2 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do they rate a movie R for adult language? The only people I hear using that language are teenagers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to a Rosh Hashanah we'll never forget since it'll be permanently documented in our Facebook Timelines. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Dora would move her big ass head out of the screen maybe we would be able too help her find her… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back your own crap! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry your car isn't quite shitty enough for you to benefit from the Cash for Clunkers plan. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just a reminder that fireworks look even more amazing when you're not constantly checking your iPhone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Brushing your teeth before having breakfast is like wiping your ass before having a shit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Love is funny. Makes you happy, sad and do all sorts of things you never thought you'd do before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday, 22% Tuesday, 26% Wednesday, 35% Thursday and 4% Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today is April Fools' Day. Believe nothing and trust no one... Just like any other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Slap a player, stomp a bitch; they both ain't nothing but some nasty tricks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear parents, we know money doesnt grow on trees, thats why we are asking you for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I have to pee. 5%-Going to pee. 95%-Telling people you have to pee. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: have you had a bf befor? Answer: Yepp and I currently have one — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
