Masturbation is like procrastination, it's all good and fun until you realize you are only fucking yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm usually about LIVE,LAUGH,LOVE and DANCE.But today it's more like, RAISE,AIM,FIRE and RELOAD. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't feel bad about online shopping at work. It's the only place where I can spend money WHILE I make it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dora: What was your favorite part? You: My favorite part was - Dora: I liked that part too! You: DON'T INTERRUPT ME,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Where is your book? Student: At home. Teacher: What's it doing there? Student: Having more fun than me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how we do nice things for people and nobody ever notice it. But once we make only one mistake, they'll… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You think I'm shy and boring & you don't like me because of that but I don't really care. You just don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My bed and I have a special relationship, we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Went to This Weird Store haha were Nutella was only $1.79 And at Wal-mart its like 4 dollars a jar! so I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gal's top 10 lies 1. I luv u more than nothing 2. I am single 3. I hope u wont cheat on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's always a light at the end of a tunnel. Just pray it isn't a train! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny the way it is, not right or wrong, somebody's heart is broken, and it becomes your favorite song. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My dog is having puppies and I need to take a year off in order to train them to attack your picture. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes I like to treat myself at work and just do one thing at a time. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In school they call it Bullying but at work they call it Upper Level Management. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Can you please be serious ? Ok,ok... I'm gonna be serious now.*DEEP BREATH..* *Bursts out laughing* — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Of all the poetry written in our generation, Frost's is most likely to stand the test of time — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My favorite part of the heat wave is watching tourists deeply regret their decision to come here. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You there, Friday! Come here you S.E.X.Y son of a B.T.C.H. We've been looking for you since monday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Middle age is when you're old enough to know better but still young enough to do it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you pretend die infront of your pet and they dont move. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love how when my soap runs out in the shower, my shampoo magically transforms into body wash. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate it when I'm drinking and somebody tries to correct my Vodkabulary. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for inviting me to your baby shower, it reminded me to take my birth control pill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
