Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 50

Bitch, you're 12. You should be losing teeth, not your virginity.

— Anonymous

If life is a bitch then make sure she's a good looking one!

— Anonymous

That sad moment when your favorite outfit doesn't fit you anymore.

— Anonymous

That annoying moment when someone interrupts you and thenyou can't remember what you were talking about.

— Anonymous

May your July 4th fireworks cause less personal injury than your July 4th alcohol consumption.

— Anonymous

Typing song lyrics into youtube just to find out the name of the song.

— Anonymous

I have to stop saying How stupid can you be? I think people are taking it as a challenge.

— Anonymous

How much better would the world be if a liars pants really did catch on fire.

— Anonymous

If guns dont kill people, but people kill people, then doesnt that mean that toasters dont toast toast, but instead toast toasts…

— Anonymous

Ghetto word of the Day - Disappointment. My Parole officer said if I miss disappointment they gone send me back to Jail.

— Anonymous

Drinking this bottle will give you the power to FLY IN YOUR SOCKS, MOONWALK ON WATER & SURF GREAT WHITES WITHOUT A…

— Anonymous

*Son walks in on dad in the shower* Son: Dad what's that hairy thing between your legs Dad: Well son that's the…

— Anonymous

If you can't go to sleep quickly, I suggest reading a school textbook in bed. I guarantee you will be out in…

— Anonymous

What's the difference between the IQ of a stupid guy and one of a mosquito? About 5 points. How do you even…

— Anonymous

Okayy, I feel like I'm blowing up your newsfeed with things from my summer bucket list. Sorry! I'm done for now:P hahaha

— Anonymous

It is generally agreed that "Hello" is an appropriate greeting because if you entered a room and said "Goodbye," it could confuse…

— Anonymous

When your mother is mad and asks you, Do I look stupid? it's best not to answer her.

— Anonymous

Happy Grandparents Day from someone who will probably be the end of this family's lineage.

— Anonymous

Please suggest a movie for us to see so that I can find out if you have terrible taste.

— Anonymous

Suicide is away of telling God, You can't fire me I quit!!!

— Anonymous

If Python is executable pseudocode, then perl is executable line noise.

— Anonymous

Putting a good face on in front of people does NOT mean I am okay

— Anonymous

I think it's funny that people who treat you like sh*t get offended when you finally do the same to them.

— Anonymous

Admit it, You've paired last names with your name to see if they sounded good together.

— Anonymous

Let's see a 3-D movie about piranhas that feed on D-list actors.

— Anonymous

I feel a profound connection to you based on the music in your shared iTunes folder.

— Anonymous

Remember to let yourself relax this Labor Day before letting yourself go this winter.

— Anonymous

Most people are alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

— Anonymous

Sending a risky text & thinking..Oh god, they hate me, if they don't respond within 30 seconds.

— Anonymous

Instead of said following me on twitter it should be stalk me on twitter.

— Anonymous

Teacher: copy what I wrote on the board. Me: then move the f*ck away!..

— Anonymous

That awkward moment when I'm really drunk and you're still ugly.

— Anonymous

I'm jealous of my parents :( They have such an AMAZING child! :O

— Anonymous

Dear pimples, if you are going to live on my face, I am going to need to see some rent...

— Anonymous

I wish I could transform into someone who didn't see Transformers 3.

— Anonymous

Federal and state laws (should) be changed to no longer make it a crime to possess marijuana for private use.

— Anonymous

I never drink coffee at work...mainly because it keeps me awake.

— Anonymous

Everytime I hear that dirty word exercise ,I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

— Anonymous

Change Of plans.. I'm Not Posting a Video of Me Singing Beaucse I Sound Like a Dieing Cat..

— Anonymous

Middle Age - When you want to see how long your car will last instead of how fast it will go.

— Anonymous