When the girlfriend and I get in an argument, I begin to believe in flying saucers...and plates, pots, mugs... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy : I really like you. Girl : Cool story bro, how many other girls did you tell that to ? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Karma is when you throw a banana in Mario Kart and you end up slipping on it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friendship Day is the perfect time to thank you for lending me money and to see if I can borrow more. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 363,847 times, you must be the weather man. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love you mommy. 'I don't have any money, try your dad.' I love you daddy. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny whatsapp status You can meet many beautiful people in a lifetime, but only one person is enough to make your life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
IN GIRL'S RESPECT -One of the Most; Beautiful Creations of GOD... -You can Feel Her INNOCENCE; In the form of A DAUGHTER...… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
After my first semester in law school, I'm seriously considering suing Santa for breaking and entering. I hate the holidays... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the mall: I won't buy anything. I'm saving up *spots an awesome shirt* Oh! I have to buy that. I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men fail to realize that a woman can give more away in 1 weeks times than a man can go out and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes when jerks become Christians, it's like a bully learning karate. Instead of having Christ transform our hearts and attitudes, we now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Father's Day to a wonderful husband who no matter what having kids has done to my body still seems to want… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't let the fact that Obama became president without having a father in his life make you feel unimportant this Father's Day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I dont know whats more awkward, answering Dora, or sitting in silence while she staresat you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm set on running a yellow light and the person in front of me chickens out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny cause I miss you, but I don't want you. It's like a been there done that kinda thing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only high-tech, battery-powered superhero I'm interested in this weekend is the one in my nightstand. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't wait for your wedding reception to show everyone why I'm divorced. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Grammar.The difference between knowing your shit and knowing you're shit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'll post quotes and pictures later, but right now I am dead tothe world from lack of sleep! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Awkward moment when you hit the wrong person even you want to hit someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself...you may get your ass kicked, but you stood up for yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry your car isn't quite shitty enough for you to benefit from the Cash for Clunkers plan. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just a reminder that fireworks look even more amazing when you're not constantly checking your iPhone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to a Rosh Hashanah we'll never forget since it'll be permanently documented in our Facebook Timelines. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If Dora would move her big ass head out of the screen maybe we would be able too help her find her… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Taking your ex back is like going to a yard sale and buying back your own crap! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's celebrate an Italian man who spread even more STDs than the cast of Jersey Shore. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
